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"No vacation this year, honey! I've got to stay online and prove that Venooker is a shit!" - King Turd, writing from Doo-doo mtn
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Thread: "No vacation this year, honey! I've got to stay online and prove that Venooker is a shit!" - King Turd, writing from Doo-doo mtn
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"No vacation this year, honey! I've got to stay online and prove that Venooker is a shit!" - King Turd, writing from Doo-doo mtn
#1
Rxa8Jd
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http://justpaste.it/dozi
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#2
Rxa8Jd
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http://engineering.dartmouth.edu/six...-Biography.pdf
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#3
kosher dildo
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hi jack
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#4
Rxa8Jd
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Two months after the Vermont Halloween Parade, Pipster the Hipster and Jack Venooker prepared for their first Christmas season on Earth in nearly a decade. With Jack Venooker now retired and Pipster the Hipster at leisure while he pondered his next career move, they bowed out of the limelight and began to plan a real vacation together.
Due to Pipster the Hipster's recent experiences at the San Diego Con, the two men decided to spend the holidays in New England. A short session with a travel computer led them to Stowe in Vermont, and they immediately made their reservations.
Andrei Molotiu and David “Duckfucker” Recine walked in to their hotel room at Burlington to spend Christmas Eve with them and they caroused late into the night, exchanging gifts, drinking fine ales, and reminiscing over their long and successful years as comic nerds. Andrei and Duckfucker were both professional drinkers, and when Pipster the Hipster and Jack Venooker retired for the evening, their friends were still boozing in the living room of the hotel suite.
Thus it was that on the brilliant, sunny Christmas morning with a sky as blue and unblemished as a robin's egg, Andrei and Duckfucker were still fast asleep on the sofas when Pipster the Hipster and Jack Venooker arose to greet the day. They'd obviously been too inebriated to leave the night before. Figuring they had a good few hours before their slumbering friends would awaken, the pair set off for the lake, leaving a hastily scribbled note behind them.
The woman at the canoe rental hut almost couldn't believe her eyes when she saw them approaching along the beach. Could that--really be-- Pipster the Hipster? From the internet? And Jack Venooker as well? Their pictures had been all over the SG12 message board a few months ago--after all, they'd saved Zack Soto and uncovered a TCJ message board conspiracy!
Hastily she checked her reflection in the mirror. Then, satisfied that not a brown hair was out of place and that her red plastic flower, a symbol of Vermont Christmases, was tucked safely behind her ear, she awaited them behind the counter, smiling nervously.
"We'd like to rent a canoe," said Pipster the Hipster.
Five minutes later, they were trudging down the beach carrying the paddles they'd picked out from the bin. The rental canoes were resting on the sand at the edge of the water. After picking one out based on the very scientific process of whatever matched Pipster the Hipster's T-shirt, they pushed it most of the way into the water and carefully climbed in.
The weather was gorgeous. Birds flew from tree to tree along the lake's edges, and picturesque mountain peaks framed a flawless blue sky. Smooth paddles dipped almost silently into the shimmering water, pushing it behind with terpsichorean swirls. Pipster the Hipster and Jack Venooker didn't speak much, instead choosing just to enjoy the experience.
That is, until Pipster the Hipster suggested cheerfully that Jack Venooker turn around and paddle backwards for a while.
As innocently as he might have been trying to sound, Jack Venooker was immediately suspicious. He'd known Pipster far too long not to be able to sense... mischief.
But, with the care and consciousness of his own center of gravity only a comic nerd can manage, Jack Venooker turned around anyway. There were reasons they'd been together so long, after all.
"You're beautiful," Pipster the Hipster commented matter-of-factly, staring into those big dark eyes. He lifted his paddle and plunged it slowly into the water once again, not breaking his gaze.
"It is fortunate that you are of that opinion," said Jack Venooker demurely.
"I want breakfast."
"You have already--" Jack Venooker stopped. No way was Jim talking about food, not with that gleam in his eye. "Jim," he started again, gently. "We are in the middle of a public lake."
"So?" Pipster the Hipster's eyes sparkled. "It's Christmas morning, and it's early. Nobody's here. There's nothing but trees on the shore, and we're too far away anyway. I can bend down, and the canoe will hide what I'm doing."
"It is incredibly difficult to engage in sexual intimacies in a canoe," Jack Venooker attempted. "Many centuries ago, young members of the upper class on your world were encouraged to socialize with potential mates in canoes, where a chaperone was not required because illicit activity would result in an upending of the boat."
"Jack Venooker, you think I don't know what I'm doing?" Pipster the Hipster grinned. "I'll be very careful. You just relax and enjoy this excellent weather."
Only a comic nerd would have to be talked into receiving fellatio, Pipster the Hipster mused as he slowly edged his rear end off the canoe seat and into the belly of the boat. The canoe rocked alarmingly, but he froze for a few seconds and let the stillness of the water calm it.
Jack Venooker watched skeptically as Pipster the Hipster inched forward on the base of the boat, but, miraculously, it didn't rock all that much anymore. Apparently, Pipster the Hipster did know what he was doing...
When Pipster the Hipster had come near enough, Jack Venooker opened his legs and let his husband crawl between them. Pipster the Hipster rubbed his face against Jack Venooker's thighs for a moment, like a cat, watching with satisfaction as a growing lump sprang into firmness beneath the comic nerd's trousers. He pounced on it with his mouth and gummed it eagerly through the fabric. Yum-um.
Time to let Mini-Jack Venooker out to enjoy the sunlight. Pipster the Hipster's fingers worked quickly, and before long, he had Jack Venooker's penis out in the open. He licked and slurped the head a little bit and then opened his own fly to grasp his reaction.
Jack Venooker patted his head and ran his fingers through Pipster the Hipster's wavy hair affectionately as Pipster the Hipster sucked. The sun felt good on his face and shoulders, and Jim's wet, energetic mouth pulled bursts of pleasure from him with every suckle. He leaned back slightly and pushed his hips towards Pipster the Hipster's hungry mouth and fondling fingers. Pipster the Hipster's lower body moved as well as he squeezed and teased his own organ with his other hand.
The boat began to rock, but they were too swept up in their early-morning passion to be watchful. Pipster the Hipster's busy tongue ran circles around the column of pulsing flesh protruding from Jack Venooker's fly. They were both very close to orgasm, and with each jut of their hips, the boat swayed further and further from a safely resting position.
Jack Venooker came, and his cum spilled out across Pipster's lips. Aroused beyond his breaking point, Pipster the Hipster came all over his own hand and fell with a shudder against Jack Venooker's lap.
O treacherous momentum!
One minute, Pipster the Hipster was snuggling up against his favorite comic nerd's poofy linen blouse, and, with a sudden splash, the next minute he was in the lake up to his chest and paddling water. Wiping droplets from his eyelashes, he sputtered, "Jack Venooker!"
"I am here." Jack Venooker was bobbing in the water beside the upturned canoe, struggling to right it.
Pipster the Hipster swam over to help, feeling the water drag at his still-twitching and still exposed penis. Together, he and Jack Venooker flung the boat back over onto the water right side up, where it landed with jerking waves. Pipster the Hipster held the boat steady as best he could with both arms while Jack Venooker slithered in, keeping his body flush to the structure.
Pipster the Hipster remained in the water and watched Jack Venooker wring out his soaking wet shirt and pant legs. He noticed that Jack Venooker's fly was closed again. "Sorry," he said, looking up with puppy-dog eyes and a sheepish smile.
Jack Venooker's eyebrow went up. "Enjoying your swim?"
"Actually, it's not that bad in here."
"In that case, would you like to tow me in to shore? I do not find the feeling of these wet clothes at all pleasing."
"I don't know if I can manage that." Pipster the Hipster looked towards the shore, then back at Jack Venooker--who was smiling that tiny quarter-smile that only a comic nerd in love can execute.
"Come back in the boat, Jim." Jack Venooker held out his hands and with GREAT care not to tip the boat again, they managed to return Pipster the Hipster to the canoe.
They were sitting in the boat squeezing the water out of their clothing when it struck them. "The paddles," they cried.
"Look, there's one." Pipster the Hipster pointed.
"And there is the other." It was in the other direction. Both paddles floated innocently on the surface of the water, drifting slowly away from the canoe on the ripples caused by all the commotion.
"This is my fault; I'll go after them." Pipster the Hipster unbuckled his life-vest to facilitate swimming, and gingerly splashed back into the water.
He was back to the canoe with both paddles before long and threw them inside before both men began once again to slowly ease him inside. By this time, the bottom of the boat was a huge, dirty puddle of mud, lake water, and leaves. Pipster the Hipster stepped through the muck towards his seat and sat down, as carefully as possible. His shoes squeaked.
"Now, then, Jack Venooker," he said when he had settled his rear. "For the shore?"
"For the shore," Jack Venooker echoed, and they began to paddle. Even though Pipster the Hipster was quite embarrassed at the results of their canoodling, he found pleasure in the sight of Jack Venooker with water dripping from his bangs. He remembered one other time he had seen Jack Venooker in soaked civilian clothing--in San Francisco of the past, when he had jumped into the water at Fisherman’s Wharf to chase after a seal who’d snatched Venooker’s crabcake. He'd had to think fast to handle Ace Backwords’ anger, on top of hiding his pangs of desire for an at-the-time inaccessible love. Thank goodness yet another dunk in the water had reopened Jack Venooker's locked-away memories.
They reached the shore and turned their paddles in to the surprised canoe rental girl. "Did you fall in?" she asked them.
Just for fun, Pipster the Hipster answered, "No," as he gave her his paddle, water dripping from every inch of his clothing. He and Jack Venooker trudged away down the beach, drenched to the bone and leaving behind a trail of mud.
"Andrei Molotiu will no doubt be amused by the condition of our clothing," Jack Venooker predicted as they headed for the street.
Pipster the Hipster winked. "Knowing Andrei and Duckfucker, if we hurry, we might be able to get back and change into dry clothes before either of them wake up."
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#5
kosher dildo
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thanks for reminding me why i don't post at tk. bad as this dump is, it's better than that shithole
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#6
Poopalew
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Quote Originally Posted by kosher dildo View Post
thanks for reminding me why i don't post at tk. bad as this dump is, it's better than that shithole
My boss walked into my office and almost caught me on YouTube.
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#7
Rxa8Jd
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Quote Originally Posted by kosher dildo View Post
thanks for reminding me why i don't post at tk. bad as this dump is, it's better than STOWE
Quote Originally Posted by Poopalew View Post
My boss walked into my office and almost caught me on NAUGA TUCK.
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#8
Rxa8Jd
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199.188.181.24
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#9
Rxa8Jd
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#10
Rxa8Jd
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Someone sent your sematary posts to Rachel's boss.
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#11
kosher dildo
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hi jacklerchat
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