The wonder years

[maks]

I have a shitload of this stuff and I'm going to post it whether you like it or not, so I figured it should be in its own thread. Without further adieu, the archives of marks trolling as a teenager

[102/117]
From : E.Honda
To: All
Subject: POETS
Date : 27 Aug 94 04:07

THERE ONCE WAS A GAY MAN
HE JUMPED IN A JAPANESE TREE AND LOST HIS PUD
AND IT STAYED THERE
UNTIL THE SUN CAME OUT THE NEXT JAPANESE MORNING
AND THE BIRDS PECKED IT AWAY
WITH THEIR BEAKS OF EXOTIC COLOR
IN THE FOREST OF JAPAN
FOR NOW HE HAS NEW GAY FRIENDS
AND THEY LIVE IN THAT TREE
WITH THE SUN

--- GEcho 1.00
* Origin: -=Empire BBS=- "Where music is poetry too.." (10:300/666)

[[VNet] Poetry #12]
[102/117] They speak to me... ]




[140/142]
From : Mikey
To: some bitch
Subject: Nirvana
Date : 27 Apr 94 18:50

On <08:52 04-27-94> some bitch wrote to All:
> Hmmmm.... well I thought I would just throw MY two cents into this... I
> never like Nirvana in the first place, so Kurt Kobains death is really
> no big deal to me.... bUT I have NO respect for ANYONE who would kill
> theself. I feel no pity, no sorrow for anyone who could be so down on
> themselves that the only way out was death. Pretty pathetic no metter
NO THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH DEATH. I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF UNLESS SOMEONE
CAN FIND ME A MIGHTY MAN. A MANLY MAN. A MAN STRONG ENOUGH TO FIT MY MANLY
NEEDS. MEN? DID SOMEONE SAY MEN? I LOVE EM!
MENEMNEMENEMNEMNEMNEMENMENMENEMNEMNEMNEMENEMNEMNEMNEMENMENEMENEMNEMNEMNE

--- T.A.G. 2.6g Beta
* Origin: The Seven Seals; (10:100/100)

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ƒ Area: Teen (FidoNet) ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒ
Msg#: 28332 Date: 08 Feb 96 16:18:00
From: Vu Ho Read: Yes Replied: No
To: All Mark:

Subj: Sodomy
ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒ ƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒƒ
I was just reflecting on a child abuse case in Texas. I was wonder if
any of you had ever considered sodomy before. Specific with me. I'm
here for all of you, especially Cindy. I'm your buttfuck vampire.
.
Now if excuse me, I must go whack.
.
- Vu -

-!- PCBoard (R) v15.22 (OS/2) 25
! Origin: *West Alabama Online* LIVE Internet (1:3606/10)

People Person wrote:
>
> In terms of my parole, I am forced by the court to apologize to all those
> who I have caused pain with my repeated hacks of Vnet. This message is to
> <email redacted>. I would just like you to know,
> <email redacted>, that you have my most sincere apologies for my
> hacks, and it will never happen again. The fact is. Oh hell, I LOVE YOU
> ALL! You are the best friends I ever had, and I'm sorry I hgurt your
> feelings! I have confessed everything to the Waterbury police (Officer
> Ray Walsh is a really nice man, and cute too!), and my trial will be over
> with my sentencing in November. I should get a light sentence. I hope I
> will be welcome back to the BBS scene when I come back, because I love
> all the people, and I will miss it while I am in jail. Again, I am sorry,
> and I hope you can forgive me.

As much as I see you have tried in your apology, I can never forgive you
for your hacks, because it made everyone think it was me for a LONG
time, and I just can't forgive your for that. But now you're learning.
You do the crime, you do the time. And I doubt that anyone in their
right mind would invite you back to the BBS world with open arms. Have
a nice life Rob. By the way, it's pretty sad and pathetic that you're
best friends in the world are people you know from over a computer.
Maybe when you get out of jail you can seriously consider turning your
life around and concentrating on your social skills in the "real world"
See you later rob.
--
A daily dose of eMpTyV
Will flush your mind right down the drain
Shannon Hoon and Kurt Cobain,
Make yourself a household name

Subject:
Another Fresca morning
Date:
Wed, 24 Sep 1997 00:40:51 -0400
From:
sweet_hot_ass@juno.com (Forign Import)
To:
address redacted


Would you please wax my balls? They're getting too hairy, and Juicy
Juice
doesn't like to like hairy balls, he says they remind him too much of
pussy. You can write him if you want, he LOVES to get gay newsletters.
His name is juicy_juice@juno.com. He's my buuuuudy. Did you know I'm an
artist? I drew you a picture!

8------------D

That's my brother!

8-----D

That's my priest!

O | \
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII |
O | /

That's meeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

!!!


JW> I LIKE ∞
JW> TO BEAT UP LITTLE GIRLS ∞
∞
Ok Doomie.... Now it's time.... You need to call the State Police barracks and ∞
get a cop over to your house and SHOW him this stuff. They will set up with ∞
the phone company to TRACK all of these calls and log/record them just like I ∞
have. Then the next time one of these immature little BUTTHEADS calls and ∞
leaves this garbage in the name of someone INNOCENT, we can NAIL them to 
whatever wall is MOST handy. It doesn't cost you anything and these messages ∞
are threatening and nasty. I have PRAYED that he would get through here, (and ∞
by the looks of my messages that PB gives me, he's TRIED), so that I could do ∞
just that.... We'll get him. He's too stupid to NOT get caught and getting ∞
alittle closer EACH time he leaves this garbage.... I WANT him to see this ∞
message and I want him to know that we ARE going to catch him.... He thinks ∞
More (Y/n/c)? he's smart, but the fact is that each time he calls∞
worse..... Call me voice if you want to and I'll 'splain it all to you. ∞
∞
∞
∞
∞
Cheryl





To: L.Hawkeye
Subject: GAy
Date : 29 Jul 97 21:03:40 (C:\MESSAGES\VNET\SYSOP\119.MSG)
L.Hawkeye wrote in a message to Susan:
LHP> On Tue 29-Jul-1997 6:30 , Susan said to Mike:
SL> I'm glad the mail stops here before going down to PA...I'm going to go in
SL> and unzip the packet and erase all of those.
LHP> That is at least one blessing.. and just for therecord..
LHP> berner is a personal friend and would never, ever say
LHP> those things.
LHP>
I am glad of all of this. I KNOW that it wasn't BERNER *OR* Jeff.... But I
was SERIOUS when I told Doom to contact the state police. I'm sort of SICK of
hearing that some sick asshole is going to KILL me.... I want something done
about this, and if he's going to keep nailing Doom, then we'll catch him that
way. He'll probably think that I was BLUFFING.... and I WANT him to think
that... but I'm not. I want to catch this little creep and PROSECUTE him.
I'm tired of looking at his CAPITALIZED GARBAGE and I want him to EAT HIS
WORDS...
I've got a personal vendetta on this one. Not JUST for me either... For NPG,
Larry AND Rontic. THis kid is going to pay if I can help it.
* Origin: The Night Owl (10:100/71)





Date: 3:39 am Sun Jul 6, 1997 Number : 9 of 23
From: Isis Base : RSA RiverNet Admin Only
To : All Refer #: None
Subj: Dark Deth Replies: None
Stat: Sent Origin : 05 Jul 97 18:31:59

Well, how much more of this are you going to tolerate before he gets shut out
of the entire rivernet area? Up here, when a user becomes unbearable, we shut
him out of the entire net...I think you are being very generous to only take
away access to individual echos; of course, he will just move to another echo
to continue his complaining and flaming. Let me know when you want him removed
from the rest of the echos...shouldn't be long now < I just read his latest >

--- ConchMail 1.11+
* Origin: The Isle of Isis (717:203/0)








Date: 9:25 am Thu Jul 10, 1997 Number : 14 of 23
From: Tolun Base : RSA RiverNet Admin Only
To : Dr. Morbious Refer #: None
Subj: Re: Please!!!! Replies: 1
Stat: Sent Origin : 10 Jul 97 15:25:59

Ph> ˛ Reason For Being: Re: Please!!!!
Ph> ˛ Requested A Reply: Yea, If You Can Find Time...
Ph> MAN
Ph> RPG
Ph> RIVERNET
Ph> GAY
Ph> IT ALL FITS

This user, "Phoman" aka Phantastic Max, has been locked out of RiverNet.
Please do not allow this user access. The above post is an example of *why*
he is locked out...

Tolun
RiverNet Vice-President












[298/300]
From : Dragon Lord
To: Tolun
Subject: Re: The RiverNet
Date : 09 Jul 97 13:46:47

T> It's an unfortunate truth that not everyone is content just to converse
and
T> have fun. First Dark Deth and now Ruiner seem determined to be
disrespectfu
T> of the rest of us and cause trouble, so I'll be asking to cut their access
T> to RiverNet until such time as they demonstrate, to a RiverNet Sysop or
oth
T> trustworthy person, a level of maturity more suitable for conversation
here
T>
T> Tolun


I'll make these changes that are needed. I'm just sorry that Dark Deth
couldn't get along with everyone but what are you going to do. This is only
the thing you can do. I hope maybe in the future He can get along with
everyone.

Dragon Lord

--- GEcho 1.00
* Origin: The Dragon's Lair BBS * PA USA (717:718/331)

[RiverNet BBS support #2]
[298/300] Reading Messages:







Date: 11:51 am Wed Jul 16, 1997 Number : 19 of 23
From: Dragon Lord Base : RSA RiverNet Admin Only
To : Isis Refer #: 18
Subj: Re: Please!!!! Replies: None
Stat: Sent Origin : Local

I> Why not just drill a few more holes in their boat and sink 'em :)
I> Dark Deth no longer has any access to Rivernet from here, so unless he start
I> calling down there, he should present no more problems.
I>
I> Isis



Please call my board at (number). Please tell Robert Roy he is
welcome to call also. Dark-Deth no long has access on my board because of a
result of what he did on my board in chat. He was asking me to go about some
terms but I could not agree to there terms. He got all mad because I posted a
message to Tolun saying Dark Deth had problems getting along with people. I
don't see how he would flip out about that because he already knew he was not
getting along with everyone. He disrespected me and I will not be told what
to do on my board by him. He thinks this WAR 1 Or something. He really needs
to stop what he is doing.

Dragon Lord

--- Renegade v5-11 Exp
* Origin: The Dragon's Lair BBS * PA USA (717:718/331)

[RSA RiverNet Admin Only] 19 of 23 Reading :















Date: 10:00 pm Wed Jul 16, 1997 Number : 20 of 23
From: Tolun Base : RSA RiverNet Admin Only
To : All Refer #: None
Subj: Re: Please!!!! Replies: None
Stat: Sent Origin : 16 Jul 97 00:42:34

> It is something else how people can goto certin limits to really
> cause
> problems. I say we get our guns and army and take down the walls..
> Hehehe..
>
Is> Why not just drill a few more holes in their boat and sink 'em :)
Is> Dark Deth no longer has any access to Rivernet from here, so unless he
Is> starts calling down there, he should present no more problems.

DL has said he's locked DD out, as was stated on my authority, and Starwitch
and I, at least, have taken measures to prevent him from calling in under
an assumed name and gaining access that way.

To everyone, I recommend using the Caller ID or similar systems to check
the numbers of all new users during the next month or two. If you don't have
Caller ID, you should be able to dial *69 (1169 on a non-touchtone phone)
to check the number of the last caller: if you see an unfamiliar user log on,
use this immediately after he/she hangs up and before anyone else calls, or
you can also use it if an unfamiliar user was the last person to call in.
It should tell you the number that user is calling from (it can be blocked,
but if so, I would view it with suspicion). Write down the number and check
the area code against Isis's and King Arthur's numbers: if it came from their
area, then it was most like DD or one of his cronies, especially if the user
claims to be from elsewhere. Netmail the two of them the number to see if
they can verify it as DD's, or Ruiner's, or whomever's...

Isis, I do have some concern about how far he's willing to carry this
vendetta, and what exactly he can do to us, individually or as a whole. I'll
netmail you regarding my concerns, however, because I would ask everyone to
drop all conversations about him from any echo, including the Sysop-only
ones. There's no need to keep cluttering up the echoes with his name, I'd
be happy if we just pretended he never was here...

Tolun

... People who live in grass houses shouldn't throw lawnmowers....
___ Blue Wave/386 v2.30 [NR]

--- GEcho 1.00
* Origin: Chiaroscuro-Sysop Tolun-Berwick, PA (717:718/759)

[maks]

39/40 [1] Local General
Title: .
Date: Wed Feb 28, 1996 22:14:02 (0 days old)
From: Virulant #72 @67 VirtualNET


I have peepee in my fudgehole
peepee me
jizz on my face make matt happy.
lick jizz then make more


This is a poem about my favorite movie, The Lion King.

[39/40] (?-AQZKSRE):

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

40/40 [1] Local General
Title: .
Date: Wed Feb 28, 1996 22:15:34 (0 days old)
From: Virulant #72 @67 VirtualNET


Oh hack me hack me
i need to be hacked then jacked
my password on every board is the same
it's my boyfrends name
i luv to eat my jizz
my jizz luvs to eat me
i am so gay i eat cattle pork
and i pork cattle.

[40/40] (?-AQZKSRE):

what

[maks]

When the BBS's were going down because of the advent of the internet I started logging pretty much everything I had ever posted. I still have those logs, it's an exciting look at the history of a prolific poster and troll

youre a fucking nerd

[ArchbshpDesmndPooPoo]

I remember when I first got the internet I'd be searching for cheat codes or geosites about dinosaurs and some posts on those old timey forums would come up and I'd think I stumbled into some secret internet hacker chat

[maks]

youre a fucking nerd

oh, totally. I've come to accept that.

I remember when I first got the internet I'd be searching for cheat codes or geosites about dinosaurs and some posts on those old timey forums would come up and I'd think I stumbled into some secret internet hacker chat

for a while everyone was all about switching to telnet until they realized people would rather use an html forum in their browser. I liked it better in the old days, more exclusive, easier to shun people.

[sex with dead people]

i didn't know the internet existed back in 1994

[sex with dead people]

i really thought this thread was gonna be about the show

[maks]

i didn't know the internet existed back in 1994

this stuff isn't from the internet, it's bbs's. most of these posts were "networked" to other bbs's but it was much more rudimentary, essentially every time a user hung up the system would call the next bbs in the list and transfer all the new messages there and so on

fidonet lulz

[elezzzark]

[Plug Drugs]

hahaha stomple fails

[maks]

[maks]

hahaha stomple fails

some things never change

your writing skills really improved from 1994 to 1995

[maks]

your writing skills really improved from 1994 to 1995

I had to step it up for sophomore english

[Idiotska]

what would you do without love

[Plug Drugs]

what would you do without love

this touched me very deep inside

I had to step it up for sophomore english

i was in like first grade at the time

camoron, please shop jimmy walker into your avatar

[maks]

i was in like first grade at the time

and m0nde was out of college and jack was already getting yearly prostate exams

camoron, please shop jimmy walker into your avatar

im too lazy to photoshop anything for this forum anymore, what do you think this is 2007?

do it for me

[boobz]

m0nde was already working in his first call centre at this point

[UofLCardfan08]

some things never change

The non funny op never changes, let this thread be a testament to that.

[rubycalaber]

wow I was still in nursery school when marks was trolling about Kurt Cobain killing himself

[Plug Drugs]

technically we were all still in the ground as minerals and proteins that would eventually form the big macs and pizza hut that would make up our body's cells,
since the body's cellular structure is completely renewed with new pieces every 4 years or something

i think most cells fully replace themselves in only 6 months but i imagine they recycle atoms an awful lot

turns out that neurons dont get replaced (this is being challenged), cerebral cortex cells are never replaced and there from birth, and most of your heart cells replace so slowly that at the end of your life its possible to have some there from birth

plsu i dont think your teeth ever replace themselves but without googling cause im lazy id say they arent really cells just 'shaped biological rocks in your mouth'

kind of a buzz kill tbh i kind of liked thinking that i am fully replaced