rubycalaber
05-15-2013, 03:34 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5a-FAWIEe8
we rejoin our heroes in a forest just north of cherno as they start their journey to the north west airfield and not fucking much happens I guess the first trip to Zub really stuck in my mind since it was my first time ahem going on a big trip and we were just figuring out how to travel and navigate but this time we already knew the proper way to stay together and keep in cover and figure out where we were and I think this was the first video I took when home alone since I'm talking about my family probably walking around in the middle of a forest not doing anything too the one thing that happens is I spot a chopper crash site but of course it disappears by the time we get over to it but at least teknorat finds an FN FAL in some tents that were actually being used for once and I used the power of autism to retrace our steps using my fraps footage to note its position down and I think tek tried to go back there at one point with his brother but it was gone just kidding it was still there and if anyone finds this thread by googling for dayz tent locations please waste time by going here
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use%202/FNfoultent.png
and there was some Meta-Rustling™ at the end of this video where the last minute for some reason saved as just empty blackness and I didnt notice when I was editing these videos like 9 months ago so the footage has long since been deleted since its 2013 and we still have to delete files we dont have magical digital space for so I just cut it off I forget what happened at the end here I guess just us finding a place to log off
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgUOWTXVeQY
since the next day I log in pretty close to the north west air field but my frame rate is lagging like a mad cunt and teknorat tells me to CLOSE YOUR CHILD PORN TORRENTS YOU FUCKING FAGGOT so I have to close my game and close every program on my computer other than arma2 and fraps and steam and some more Meta-Rustling™ has happened where two minutes after that were saved as empty black screen and no audio too which I just edited out and it made the video quality sliiiiightly which rustles me oh well all that I lost was me and tek walking through a field and along the outer wall of the airfield and sneaking behind and into some hangers and nothing happened since we were on high alert edgy and not talking but before that we had some good banter were I told a funny story and teknorat told me one of his many Piss Stories™ so I took the audio of that and overlayed it on us sneaking into the airfield since that was visually interesting so maybe thats what went wrong and made it save as an empty black screen well maybe you'll hear the piss story again on the podcast or something anyway when we get to the hanger we are scouting up ahead for other players when I hear some weird rumbling sound that I say might be a jet fighter ha dont be silly theres only helicopters in this game but then a strange shadow flies across the ground and oh oh fuuuuA FUCKING JET FIGHTER FLIES OVER US AND DOZENS OF ZOMBIES HAVE BEEN RUSTLED BY IT AND COME RUNNING STRAIGHT AT US so we disconnect which is completely fair play because a hacker literally hacked the games code and imported a fighter jet illegally into the game world and kited a hundred zombies towards us so its not cheating if you're doing it to counter a cheater and when we find another server we get harassed non stop by zombies until it reaches a climax of rustling where my game got minimized for literally no reason and then my character starts doing some crazy square dancing move instead of walking in doors and then teknorats nip wife calls him and then the zombies start phasing in through the walls behind me and I almost shoot teknorat when he runs into the hallway behind a zombie I'm shooing first time I shoot the DMR and its almost a teamkill so that was a nice bit of five things going wrong in the space of 10 seconds lmao classic DayZ and we dont find anything good in the barracks anyway since we already have the best rifles in the game and then teknorat discovers a glitch where if you switch weapons while crawling you go sliding across the ground which would be badass to do on purpose mid fire fight to dodge bullets but it never comes up again and then he spots an ATV and literally looks it up on the official forum if its a two seater or not and it is so I cover him while he goes and gets it which in any other game I would be like fuck off covering doesnt matter but here it actually does save our lives a few times if one of us keeps the edgy while the other moves or fiddles and we go on a lovely poorly synced drive where the ATV is sliding through trees on my end and I have to literally scream everything I say so tek can hear me over the engine roar because he hasnt turned down his sounds like I do so fuck yeah realisms and we have to stop at a town called Rogovo to look for more gas but then teknorats cunt wife calls him so we take shelter to log off in a tool shed since we are both tools and he tells me to go have fun but he clearly forgot what game we were playing so I just log off too
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Up5_6IMc59Q
and then four days later we jack back into the matrix in the tool shed and we hadnt played for a bit because teknorat had gotten his nose broken while playing cops and crooks in real life and had to get surgery to realign it or something and it literally made his voice even more gay so thats what we're making jokes about throughout
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use%202/IMAG0481_zps22c09119.jpg
and tek tells me a story about how when he first woke up from his operation and was still under anesthetic he asked his nurse if she was a catholic so I guess that is his version of walt waking up after his operation in breaking bad and accidentally mentioning his second cell phone teknorat actually hates catholics which sounds about right since he was maybe raised protestant and all religious people hate people who are a slightly different religion to them but the reason he wanted to know if there were any catholics about is to see if DID THEY MOLEST ME WHILE I WAS UNCONSCIOUS? and then we finally find a crashed helicopter that will actually fucking stay there for us to loot but after spending half an hour crawling towards it it had no loot and then teknorat roleplays a woman really well by having to drop what hes doing to go and expel blood lmao and we end back up at zub castle which I immediately identify due to being a pro gamer but tek doesnt believe me because he miscalculated how far our ATV ride took us fucking noob and our characters need something to drink so we go down to a water pump we spot in a town from ontop of the castle and as we're walking back down south I kill a zombie effortlessly with my DMR but when tek dares me to kill a cow in the distance my shots are like bending Wanted style around its head and embarrassing me but since I am a TRUE and HONEST lets player I leave that in my videos mostly because if I only left in the bits that make me look cool the video series would be 1 minute long in total and when we make it back to cherno we decide to take a break since tek is about to bleed to death in real life and I am too scared to go in yet since I have a 6 day old character all geared up
now this is where the Meta-Rustling™ gets to the probably worst its gotten since the worst that coulda happened is fraps just didnt record my video or audio which never happened but for soooooooooome reason *glares at kristanna* the option "Don't sync audio and video" in fraps had literally ticked itself (why the fuck is this even an option? why would you ever want that to happen?) so when we started playing again a few hours later the files it recorded were like usually they are about 2 minutes long each before they start recording another file which is fine by me since if I bluescreen it corrupts the file so that limits that rustling but this rustling had caused it to be 2 minutes of normally recorded audio but the video had been speed up twice as fast so it was a minute if speed up video and then just the final frame of it for the remaining minute and oh boyo was this fucking painful to edit since I am too lazy to learn how to use proper editing software to slow down the video and sync it up that way I manually went through it all and whenever anything funny happened that I wanted in the video I had to match up the audio to it so that the funniest thing I said synced up with the funniest thing happening in the clip and it was a right ballache and originally the thread so far had been one thread and these videos (of course the one time the audio and video dont sync up is a game session thats non-stop interesting shit that takes up five videos) would be a new thread since they are kind of a separate story arc even if the last video and these happened on the same day but I put them together when my plan of 23 threads and then a finale wrap-up thread on 9/11 had to get rolled back a week when faggot teknorat couldnt get his act together to record a podcast so I could post my trailer of these dumb videos live on it and now it doesnt matter since I have more dayz footage to make videos of I havnt even started editing yet so maybe that plan will change so who cares the answer is literally just teknorat he is the only one watching these vids or reading this drivel and he seems pretty excited about it and sometimes asks me how long until the thread will be up which is really sad and pathetic actually worse than me typing this since at least I have made these videos so I might as well put them out there but they are all shit and wanting to watch them is really sad so anyway
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_5qTJjEYOA
after a few hours of R&R we head into cherno for the return of apartment rustling, some platforman games and actual fun where dozens of zombies are swarming the building we are up and we start mowing them down with our 1337 operator rifles and we end up with a massive pile of dead zombies everywhere and when I need my hourly dose of rustling I go back into the apartments but my pro gaming partner teknorat actually covers me through a window from a rooftop across the street like some real operator shit and I run out of marakov ammo so just start no scoping them with the DRM and I had some fun doing that since usually shooting zombies is fucking annoying but the DMR one shotted them and there were no iron sights so I just shot them point blank and always got them but I still used up all my medical supplies and then I get stuck on the roof of a hospital but actually use a smoke grenade for its intended purpose for once to distract some zombies not troll anyone or demolish a building and since it can be hard to find people in cherno because everyone knows to avoid it and its pretty big we decide to go to elektro which retards think is safe because its small and people would prefer to loot cherno but that is exactly why its not safe because everyone thinks that and its literally the same four buildings anyone goes into in the same town center and its just deathmatch most of the time and on our way to the holocaust which is our favorite tactical regrouping spot teknorat gets a kill and then the first lightning and thunder storm I've heard in the game starts up as we're fighting zombies and I say maybe if any humans heard it they'll mistake it for thunder like how in Twilight the vampire have to play baseball during a thunder storm so people dont hear the cracks of their bat and there is a very long silence as teknorat is not sure if that was a joke or actually happens in the movie and hes like ARE YOU SERIOUS? IS THAT A TRUE THING AND NOT A JOKE? and we have a deep conversation about the state of modern literature and since I ran out of footage to put over the audio I made this le epin forum collage
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/1286823734_1019_zps5fcd1b7d.png
radi0volta who you will be introduced to later in several months time is Jasper, an ALICE pack is Alice since not enough girls play this game lmao, clay but not the snickers munching one desos friend is Carlisle and his lover Esme is desolation (yes everyone fucks their step siblings in twilight), hiroshima who posted one screencap of himself hacking this game is Rosalie Hale, big boy barry is big boy Emmett, I'm Bella and Teknorat is Edward since we are gay lovers, m0nde is Laurent since they are both brown, stompleb is James for no reason and Warhol who is not in these videos at all in any way but talked to me about DayZ so I presumed wrongly I'd get a game with him at some point is Victoria since they're both gingers not included? leave me an angry reply about it..... please leave my a reply...... please.........
and when we get to elektro my 6 day old character finally buys the farm due to BULLSHIT where teknorat sees a dude running around in the power station/fire station compound to the north and I run in to kill him but I see oh whats this a guy standing there staring at the ground like he is investigating some loot so I run up to kill him but realize he is lagged out and then when I'm trying to take his shit before he disconnects gunshots ring out and I run inside the firestation some cheeky cunt runs in with a winchester and we blast at each other but I make the mistake of bringing up my scope and he knows how to move and shoot at the same time which I havnt figured out yet so he dodges my bullets as they blast apart the wall behind him and unloads into me but I think my last shot gets him because you can see the animation of his body falling over as my character does the same thing but my murders didnt come up and this server doesnt show when someone dies so it was an unconfirmed kill for all I know he was just unconscious and woke up and bandaged himself up so I didnt count it towards my kill total since I am a fair and legitimate gamer and thats bullshit because guess what in a real life combat situations PEOPLE DO NOT STOP DEAD IN THEIR TRACKS AND STARE DOWN AT THE GROUND AND BECOME INVINCIBLE BEFORE DISAPPEARING THATS NOT REALISM IF THIS GAME DIDNT HAVE LAGGED OUT PEOPLE STANDING AROUND EVERYWHERE I WOULD NOT BE STANDING THERE LIKE AN IDIOT LOOKING IN HIS GEAR AND STILL BE ON THE LOOK OUT FOR SOMEONE RUNNING AROUND fuck sake and when I respawn I see a real helicopter for the first time flying about which was pretty neato and teknorat tries to avenge to me so I guess that guy was still alive but his fucking cuuuuuuuunt gook whore gets him killed by phoning him
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBEZUxXFDpA
when I respawn outside cherno some random dude makes the mistake of going inside the same cabin as me and since we're both unarmed I troll him by just standing in the door way and not letting him out lmao its a shame he isnt communicating because hes a horribly impoverished russian who doesnt speak english or own speakers or a microphone and is probably visiting his own one room house he lives in in real life in this video game lmao because I kept trying to get him to eat me out in return for freedom but unfortunately you cant rape deaf retards so I just suck him off instead please note that I am not gay since I was a girl in the game but unfortunately he figures out the deadliest weapon in this game are the doors so starts opening and closing the front door which knocks me back and then he manages to dougie himself to freedom goodbye my first DayZ rape victim well I think that was my best video yet since it was short and about one topic that was actually sorta funny maybe in a way...................
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PclRWkvdWLo
then when I get into cherno I find an AK-47 in the fire station and it is just time to let the bodies hit the fucking floor and teknorat seems to want to go on another big trip up north and thinks thats me geared up enough but I have my hands on an assault rifle I'm not going fucking anywhere and my first victim is a female character called Katie who runs at me with an axe so I blast the fuck out of her while screaming FUCK YOU BITCH and I attain sexual gratification from killing a woman and then a few seconds later I see some dude called Kira getting chased by a zombie who he cant kill with his death note since hes already dead so I help him out by not letting it get him alive aheheheh and this cunt must have had a disconnect hotkey or some shit cus dat nigga freezes up and is outta there as soon as I start shooting but my murders go up so I still got him anyway eat shiiiiiiiiiiit disconnector so I steal all his shit from his half disconnected corpse and run to the medical tents in cherno to get le epin gear and I find a dude crawling around probably looking for morphine so I mediately put a few in his head and as his body does the pathetic dying on the ground spreading out face down animation I hear the guy go AWWWWWWW :sad: get mad about it DAUnHolyKnight nice username gayboiiiiiiii and then I run through the industrial area and I see a guy with a 1911 and mag dump at him but he knows to run around in circles and I think I nip him but he keeps running and the cheeky cunt starts dropping grenades behind him that mighta got me if I knew which way he went but since I didnt now I know where he is I think it might have been a different guy since I saw his name pop up as Nate and it's a different guy who shoots at me from the firestation who I think blew up Nate and is now firing at me with an AK of his own but I get a beat on him and start shooting back and he gets me in the leg but I just dont move so I can stay standing with a broken leg and I manage to take this guy Amplification out as he kills me amplify the feeling of my dick up your ass by squeezing your rim fagboy so thats a 4 murder streak in about as many minutes good shit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5VpEA3u15s
after maximum fiddling to get an axe in Komorovo I get my first axe kill on Hunter who looked like he was still in the noob frame of mind that stealth counts for fucking anything and that it helps to crouch run behind cover and look around as if zombies arnt going to detect you from a mile away anyway and as if you cant lose them by walking inside a building and as if other players arnt going to just launch wallhack.exe to get you and when I get to Balota airfield and I see a guy who now I realize had just expended all his rifle ammo killing teknorat in there and he is a black dude getting chased by the police lmao now thats realisms! and then I chase this MeOwZiLLa guy all the way to cherno screaming abuse at him waving my axe about while he yells DONT BE LIKE THAT DUDE I DONT EVEN GOT ANY AMMO DUDE COME ON what a fucking americlapper and I can see the distance I am from him on my name tag slowly going down since I can run with an axe sliiiiiightly faster than he can with his rifle and then another guy turns up with a gun who may have been this dudes friend coming to give him black up but I hell HELP ME KILL THIS GUY IM CHASING HE KILLED MY FRIEND HELP ME KILL THIS GUY NO NOT ME NOT ME NOOOO :pwned: but he kills me and MeOwZiLLa laughs at me and starts talking shit to me over mic as I die lmao I was just making shit up to try and make it look like he was the aggressor and not me since he had a gun but now I realize he had actually killed my friend lol so I accidentally told the truth while just pulling shit out my ass and either that guy was his friend or he didnt believe me since I'm chasing after a man with a gun with an axe or he like doesnt speak english and doesnt have a sound card and the game wasnt broadcasting my speech to him properly or whatever fuck games and at the end there is a nice example of how sometimes when you are connecting to the server again you can hear people speaking in the general channel or something so I just scream abuse at whoever I hear during loading sections it is like a fun mini-game to rustle as many jimmies in a mic fight for a few seconds I dont even know what you have to do to stay talking in that channel for any lenght of time I guess at the player list screen or people who take ages to log in aka half the game
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yKxFTtqH7k
and then after a lot of running around not playing properly and therefor having lots of fun I meet up with teknorat again and the rustling comes back when we try to play seriously to stay together and we have to take out a barn full of zombies before heading back down to the power plant north of elektro and I get a cool kill where tek spots a guy in there and I go running full pelt down tactically staying behind trees and waggling my cursor around to try and trigger his nametag showing until I see him running across a field and I just chase after him and then get down on one knee like an operator and put a slug straight between his shoulder blades get fugged BewBew also this is the first time I use the term "man fans" to describe zombies who want to eat mens meat I got this from one of the best rappers ever and Allison Harvards #2 fan The Game who uses that term to describe gay people in his personal life so he doesnt offend anyone which is fucking brilliant and very funny in fact here is the exact timestamp I heard it at http://youtu.be/90V7p0wh5nY?t=2m29s why yes I do watch rapper interviews on youtube, got an issue? it is a good video since he talks about how he doesnt have a problem with gay people only gay people who pretend to be straight because they can GIVE PEOPLE AIDS AND THEY CAN DIE and you should just be real that you're gay and be proud which is 100% true and they should make Game the minister for health and LGBT issues or whatever and he talks about how he sees how you niggas be lookin at niggas when he aroun you be lookin at niggas crazy deep words now usually I would call him gay since that is funny but it is a fact that he is a heterosexual since creepy-chan in his waifu and we are waifu comrades anyway oh wow more Meta-Rustling™ I think because teknorat hung up on steam and had to call me back for some reason fraps recorded his audio really quietly you gotta make the steam call and then launch the game or fraps wont give preference to the steam call audio if you launch the game first and then make the call it'll give preference over the game audio even if you turn it all the way down I love computers so much annd then we go in the supermarket and play pacman with some zombies and then I see some man fan coming down the road and I have to clarify that its a human man fan not a zombie man fan since unlike friendo a man fan can apply to humans too I hadnt gotten this in-joke terminology down pat yet and I thought he couldnt shoot me through the window and I literally yell at him >IMPLYING YOU CAN GET ME THROUGH A WINDOW but he does he shoots me in the stomach and it looks like hes still trying to shoot at me but then oh theeeen the bullets wont go through but of course his smoke is drifting into the building nice well designed game but at least its keeping me alive and I think its the same guy who starts going after tek around the back and when I wake up and then I hear running in the back and teknorat comes in but my visions all blurry as fuck and I dont realize its him all his fault for not calling out that he was running into the building and I shoot him in the arm and he has to sit in the corner and bandage and this is one instance where covering actually helps because the guy with a horrible unreadable username hishagameltusyu comes in from the back and I literally stand between him and teknorat and takes the bullets for him and redeem myself for shooting him a few seconds before hand and I give my life shooting back at him and I think I get one shot off at him and then teknorat just manages to stop bandaging and shoots over my corpse killing him wow dramatic stuff I thought I got him but I didnt I had literally forgotten killing BewBew a few minutes ago lol Human life is worthless to me. :plain: then I spawn back in elektro and have a race through the school to find a weapon with another unarmed guy whos seemingly a twin from the matrix because he can run through walls and we're both getting fucked up with zombies so for once in my dayz career I try to help a rando and I tell this Dan guy to stand still while I bandage him but of course as soon as we are stood still a sniper blows my brains out and Dan's pro enough to immediately hit the ground but presumably hes next lmao or it was a trap and he led me out to the rooftop for a sniper to get me and got injured on purpose to make me stop and help just kidding that is way too advanced a plan for any retard who plays this game other than me and it relies on people not being selfish pricks so is doomed to fail also I died telling a porky pie about being a doctor in real life so I guess the moral of the story is dont lie well it wasnt a lie because one of my gimmicks is a doctor which is real to me damn it and I have another good instance of trying to have fun and then getting immediately sniped where I get to the control tower in balota airfield and I start yelling down to people running around on the landing strip but as soon as I say HEY THERE I get shot and when I wake up I bandage myself but I'm still taking damage for some reason and when I turn around two zombies are eating me alive lmao and I end up back in elektro in that school where a guy shoots me in the arm I shouolda dropped that smoke grenade and hopefully dropped the building ontop of him but i didnt know that trick yet and I run up to the roof looking for a bandage and I start begging some guy to bandage me and he actually does lmao so karma is paying me back for helping that other guy on the same roof but then teknorat leaves and my character has 1700 blood so I literally just throw myself off the roof of the fire station which is the correct way to win at DayZ and the zombie apocalypse and real life http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use%202/cf748659-51a6-41b2-a50f-af73c5e2486c_zpsf6b58cb8.jpg
we rejoin our heroes in a forest just north of cherno as they start their journey to the north west airfield and not fucking much happens I guess the first trip to Zub really stuck in my mind since it was my first time ahem going on a big trip and we were just figuring out how to travel and navigate but this time we already knew the proper way to stay together and keep in cover and figure out where we were and I think this was the first video I took when home alone since I'm talking about my family probably walking around in the middle of a forest not doing anything too the one thing that happens is I spot a chopper crash site but of course it disappears by the time we get over to it but at least teknorat finds an FN FAL in some tents that were actually being used for once and I used the power of autism to retrace our steps using my fraps footage to note its position down and I think tek tried to go back there at one point with his brother but it was gone just kidding it was still there and if anyone finds this thread by googling for dayz tent locations please waste time by going here
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use%202/FNfoultent.png
and there was some Meta-Rustling™ at the end of this video where the last minute for some reason saved as just empty blackness and I didnt notice when I was editing these videos like 9 months ago so the footage has long since been deleted since its 2013 and we still have to delete files we dont have magical digital space for so I just cut it off I forget what happened at the end here I guess just us finding a place to log off
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgUOWTXVeQY
since the next day I log in pretty close to the north west air field but my frame rate is lagging like a mad cunt and teknorat tells me to CLOSE YOUR CHILD PORN TORRENTS YOU FUCKING FAGGOT so I have to close my game and close every program on my computer other than arma2 and fraps and steam and some more Meta-Rustling™ has happened where two minutes after that were saved as empty black screen and no audio too which I just edited out and it made the video quality sliiiiightly which rustles me oh well all that I lost was me and tek walking through a field and along the outer wall of the airfield and sneaking behind and into some hangers and nothing happened since we were on high alert edgy and not talking but before that we had some good banter were I told a funny story and teknorat told me one of his many Piss Stories™ so I took the audio of that and overlayed it on us sneaking into the airfield since that was visually interesting so maybe thats what went wrong and made it save as an empty black screen well maybe you'll hear the piss story again on the podcast or something anyway when we get to the hanger we are scouting up ahead for other players when I hear some weird rumbling sound that I say might be a jet fighter ha dont be silly theres only helicopters in this game but then a strange shadow flies across the ground and oh oh fuuuuA FUCKING JET FIGHTER FLIES OVER US AND DOZENS OF ZOMBIES HAVE BEEN RUSTLED BY IT AND COME RUNNING STRAIGHT AT US so we disconnect which is completely fair play because a hacker literally hacked the games code and imported a fighter jet illegally into the game world and kited a hundred zombies towards us so its not cheating if you're doing it to counter a cheater and when we find another server we get harassed non stop by zombies until it reaches a climax of rustling where my game got minimized for literally no reason and then my character starts doing some crazy square dancing move instead of walking in doors and then teknorats nip wife calls him and then the zombies start phasing in through the walls behind me and I almost shoot teknorat when he runs into the hallway behind a zombie I'm shooing first time I shoot the DMR and its almost a teamkill so that was a nice bit of five things going wrong in the space of 10 seconds lmao classic DayZ and we dont find anything good in the barracks anyway since we already have the best rifles in the game and then teknorat discovers a glitch where if you switch weapons while crawling you go sliding across the ground which would be badass to do on purpose mid fire fight to dodge bullets but it never comes up again and then he spots an ATV and literally looks it up on the official forum if its a two seater or not and it is so I cover him while he goes and gets it which in any other game I would be like fuck off covering doesnt matter but here it actually does save our lives a few times if one of us keeps the edgy while the other moves or fiddles and we go on a lovely poorly synced drive where the ATV is sliding through trees on my end and I have to literally scream everything I say so tek can hear me over the engine roar because he hasnt turned down his sounds like I do so fuck yeah realisms and we have to stop at a town called Rogovo to look for more gas but then teknorats cunt wife calls him so we take shelter to log off in a tool shed since we are both tools and he tells me to go have fun but he clearly forgot what game we were playing so I just log off too
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Up5_6IMc59Q
and then four days later we jack back into the matrix in the tool shed and we hadnt played for a bit because teknorat had gotten his nose broken while playing cops and crooks in real life and had to get surgery to realign it or something and it literally made his voice even more gay so thats what we're making jokes about throughout
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use%202/IMAG0481_zps22c09119.jpg
and tek tells me a story about how when he first woke up from his operation and was still under anesthetic he asked his nurse if she was a catholic so I guess that is his version of walt waking up after his operation in breaking bad and accidentally mentioning his second cell phone teknorat actually hates catholics which sounds about right since he was maybe raised protestant and all religious people hate people who are a slightly different religion to them but the reason he wanted to know if there were any catholics about is to see if DID THEY MOLEST ME WHILE I WAS UNCONSCIOUS? and then we finally find a crashed helicopter that will actually fucking stay there for us to loot but after spending half an hour crawling towards it it had no loot and then teknorat roleplays a woman really well by having to drop what hes doing to go and expel blood lmao and we end back up at zub castle which I immediately identify due to being a pro gamer but tek doesnt believe me because he miscalculated how far our ATV ride took us fucking noob and our characters need something to drink so we go down to a water pump we spot in a town from ontop of the castle and as we're walking back down south I kill a zombie effortlessly with my DMR but when tek dares me to kill a cow in the distance my shots are like bending Wanted style around its head and embarrassing me but since I am a TRUE and HONEST lets player I leave that in my videos mostly because if I only left in the bits that make me look cool the video series would be 1 minute long in total and when we make it back to cherno we decide to take a break since tek is about to bleed to death in real life and I am too scared to go in yet since I have a 6 day old character all geared up
now this is where the Meta-Rustling™ gets to the probably worst its gotten since the worst that coulda happened is fraps just didnt record my video or audio which never happened but for soooooooooome reason *glares at kristanna* the option "Don't sync audio and video" in fraps had literally ticked itself (why the fuck is this even an option? why would you ever want that to happen?) so when we started playing again a few hours later the files it recorded were like usually they are about 2 minutes long each before they start recording another file which is fine by me since if I bluescreen it corrupts the file so that limits that rustling but this rustling had caused it to be 2 minutes of normally recorded audio but the video had been speed up twice as fast so it was a minute if speed up video and then just the final frame of it for the remaining minute and oh boyo was this fucking painful to edit since I am too lazy to learn how to use proper editing software to slow down the video and sync it up that way I manually went through it all and whenever anything funny happened that I wanted in the video I had to match up the audio to it so that the funniest thing I said synced up with the funniest thing happening in the clip and it was a right ballache and originally the thread so far had been one thread and these videos (of course the one time the audio and video dont sync up is a game session thats non-stop interesting shit that takes up five videos) would be a new thread since they are kind of a separate story arc even if the last video and these happened on the same day but I put them together when my plan of 23 threads and then a finale wrap-up thread on 9/11 had to get rolled back a week when faggot teknorat couldnt get his act together to record a podcast so I could post my trailer of these dumb videos live on it and now it doesnt matter since I have more dayz footage to make videos of I havnt even started editing yet so maybe that plan will change so who cares the answer is literally just teknorat he is the only one watching these vids or reading this drivel and he seems pretty excited about it and sometimes asks me how long until the thread will be up which is really sad and pathetic actually worse than me typing this since at least I have made these videos so I might as well put them out there but they are all shit and wanting to watch them is really sad so anyway
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_5qTJjEYOA
after a few hours of R&R we head into cherno for the return of apartment rustling, some platforman games and actual fun where dozens of zombies are swarming the building we are up and we start mowing them down with our 1337 operator rifles and we end up with a massive pile of dead zombies everywhere and when I need my hourly dose of rustling I go back into the apartments but my pro gaming partner teknorat actually covers me through a window from a rooftop across the street like some real operator shit and I run out of marakov ammo so just start no scoping them with the DRM and I had some fun doing that since usually shooting zombies is fucking annoying but the DMR one shotted them and there were no iron sights so I just shot them point blank and always got them but I still used up all my medical supplies and then I get stuck on the roof of a hospital but actually use a smoke grenade for its intended purpose for once to distract some zombies not troll anyone or demolish a building and since it can be hard to find people in cherno because everyone knows to avoid it and its pretty big we decide to go to elektro which retards think is safe because its small and people would prefer to loot cherno but that is exactly why its not safe because everyone thinks that and its literally the same four buildings anyone goes into in the same town center and its just deathmatch most of the time and on our way to the holocaust which is our favorite tactical regrouping spot teknorat gets a kill and then the first lightning and thunder storm I've heard in the game starts up as we're fighting zombies and I say maybe if any humans heard it they'll mistake it for thunder like how in Twilight the vampire have to play baseball during a thunder storm so people dont hear the cracks of their bat and there is a very long silence as teknorat is not sure if that was a joke or actually happens in the movie and hes like ARE YOU SERIOUS? IS THAT A TRUE THING AND NOT A JOKE? and we have a deep conversation about the state of modern literature and since I ran out of footage to put over the audio I made this le epin forum collage
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/1286823734_1019_zps5fcd1b7d.png
radi0volta who you will be introduced to later in several months time is Jasper, an ALICE pack is Alice since not enough girls play this game lmao, clay but not the snickers munching one desos friend is Carlisle and his lover Esme is desolation (yes everyone fucks their step siblings in twilight), hiroshima who posted one screencap of himself hacking this game is Rosalie Hale, big boy barry is big boy Emmett, I'm Bella and Teknorat is Edward since we are gay lovers, m0nde is Laurent since they are both brown, stompleb is James for no reason and Warhol who is not in these videos at all in any way but talked to me about DayZ so I presumed wrongly I'd get a game with him at some point is Victoria since they're both gingers not included? leave me an angry reply about it..... please leave my a reply...... please.........
and when we get to elektro my 6 day old character finally buys the farm due to BULLSHIT where teknorat sees a dude running around in the power station/fire station compound to the north and I run in to kill him but I see oh whats this a guy standing there staring at the ground like he is investigating some loot so I run up to kill him but realize he is lagged out and then when I'm trying to take his shit before he disconnects gunshots ring out and I run inside the firestation some cheeky cunt runs in with a winchester and we blast at each other but I make the mistake of bringing up my scope and he knows how to move and shoot at the same time which I havnt figured out yet so he dodges my bullets as they blast apart the wall behind him and unloads into me but I think my last shot gets him because you can see the animation of his body falling over as my character does the same thing but my murders didnt come up and this server doesnt show when someone dies so it was an unconfirmed kill for all I know he was just unconscious and woke up and bandaged himself up so I didnt count it towards my kill total since I am a fair and legitimate gamer and thats bullshit because guess what in a real life combat situations PEOPLE DO NOT STOP DEAD IN THEIR TRACKS AND STARE DOWN AT THE GROUND AND BECOME INVINCIBLE BEFORE DISAPPEARING THATS NOT REALISM IF THIS GAME DIDNT HAVE LAGGED OUT PEOPLE STANDING AROUND EVERYWHERE I WOULD NOT BE STANDING THERE LIKE AN IDIOT LOOKING IN HIS GEAR AND STILL BE ON THE LOOK OUT FOR SOMEONE RUNNING AROUND fuck sake and when I respawn I see a real helicopter for the first time flying about which was pretty neato and teknorat tries to avenge to me so I guess that guy was still alive but his fucking cuuuuuuuunt gook whore gets him killed by phoning him
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBEZUxXFDpA
when I respawn outside cherno some random dude makes the mistake of going inside the same cabin as me and since we're both unarmed I troll him by just standing in the door way and not letting him out lmao its a shame he isnt communicating because hes a horribly impoverished russian who doesnt speak english or own speakers or a microphone and is probably visiting his own one room house he lives in in real life in this video game lmao because I kept trying to get him to eat me out in return for freedom but unfortunately you cant rape deaf retards so I just suck him off instead please note that I am not gay since I was a girl in the game but unfortunately he figures out the deadliest weapon in this game are the doors so starts opening and closing the front door which knocks me back and then he manages to dougie himself to freedom goodbye my first DayZ rape victim well I think that was my best video yet since it was short and about one topic that was actually sorta funny maybe in a way...................
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PclRWkvdWLo
then when I get into cherno I find an AK-47 in the fire station and it is just time to let the bodies hit the fucking floor and teknorat seems to want to go on another big trip up north and thinks thats me geared up enough but I have my hands on an assault rifle I'm not going fucking anywhere and my first victim is a female character called Katie who runs at me with an axe so I blast the fuck out of her while screaming FUCK YOU BITCH and I attain sexual gratification from killing a woman and then a few seconds later I see some dude called Kira getting chased by a zombie who he cant kill with his death note since hes already dead so I help him out by not letting it get him alive aheheheh and this cunt must have had a disconnect hotkey or some shit cus dat nigga freezes up and is outta there as soon as I start shooting but my murders go up so I still got him anyway eat shiiiiiiiiiiit disconnector so I steal all his shit from his half disconnected corpse and run to the medical tents in cherno to get le epin gear and I find a dude crawling around probably looking for morphine so I mediately put a few in his head and as his body does the pathetic dying on the ground spreading out face down animation I hear the guy go AWWWWWWW :sad: get mad about it DAUnHolyKnight nice username gayboiiiiiiii and then I run through the industrial area and I see a guy with a 1911 and mag dump at him but he knows to run around in circles and I think I nip him but he keeps running and the cheeky cunt starts dropping grenades behind him that mighta got me if I knew which way he went but since I didnt now I know where he is I think it might have been a different guy since I saw his name pop up as Nate and it's a different guy who shoots at me from the firestation who I think blew up Nate and is now firing at me with an AK of his own but I get a beat on him and start shooting back and he gets me in the leg but I just dont move so I can stay standing with a broken leg and I manage to take this guy Amplification out as he kills me amplify the feeling of my dick up your ass by squeezing your rim fagboy so thats a 4 murder streak in about as many minutes good shit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5VpEA3u15s
after maximum fiddling to get an axe in Komorovo I get my first axe kill on Hunter who looked like he was still in the noob frame of mind that stealth counts for fucking anything and that it helps to crouch run behind cover and look around as if zombies arnt going to detect you from a mile away anyway and as if you cant lose them by walking inside a building and as if other players arnt going to just launch wallhack.exe to get you and when I get to Balota airfield and I see a guy who now I realize had just expended all his rifle ammo killing teknorat in there and he is a black dude getting chased by the police lmao now thats realisms! and then I chase this MeOwZiLLa guy all the way to cherno screaming abuse at him waving my axe about while he yells DONT BE LIKE THAT DUDE I DONT EVEN GOT ANY AMMO DUDE COME ON what a fucking americlapper and I can see the distance I am from him on my name tag slowly going down since I can run with an axe sliiiiiightly faster than he can with his rifle and then another guy turns up with a gun who may have been this dudes friend coming to give him black up but I hell HELP ME KILL THIS GUY IM CHASING HE KILLED MY FRIEND HELP ME KILL THIS GUY NO NOT ME NOT ME NOOOO :pwned: but he kills me and MeOwZiLLa laughs at me and starts talking shit to me over mic as I die lmao I was just making shit up to try and make it look like he was the aggressor and not me since he had a gun but now I realize he had actually killed my friend lol so I accidentally told the truth while just pulling shit out my ass and either that guy was his friend or he didnt believe me since I'm chasing after a man with a gun with an axe or he like doesnt speak english and doesnt have a sound card and the game wasnt broadcasting my speech to him properly or whatever fuck games and at the end there is a nice example of how sometimes when you are connecting to the server again you can hear people speaking in the general channel or something so I just scream abuse at whoever I hear during loading sections it is like a fun mini-game to rustle as many jimmies in a mic fight for a few seconds I dont even know what you have to do to stay talking in that channel for any lenght of time I guess at the player list screen or people who take ages to log in aka half the game
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yKxFTtqH7k
and then after a lot of running around not playing properly and therefor having lots of fun I meet up with teknorat again and the rustling comes back when we try to play seriously to stay together and we have to take out a barn full of zombies before heading back down to the power plant north of elektro and I get a cool kill where tek spots a guy in there and I go running full pelt down tactically staying behind trees and waggling my cursor around to try and trigger his nametag showing until I see him running across a field and I just chase after him and then get down on one knee like an operator and put a slug straight between his shoulder blades get fugged BewBew also this is the first time I use the term "man fans" to describe zombies who want to eat mens meat I got this from one of the best rappers ever and Allison Harvards #2 fan The Game who uses that term to describe gay people in his personal life so he doesnt offend anyone which is fucking brilliant and very funny in fact here is the exact timestamp I heard it at http://youtu.be/90V7p0wh5nY?t=2m29s why yes I do watch rapper interviews on youtube, got an issue? it is a good video since he talks about how he doesnt have a problem with gay people only gay people who pretend to be straight because they can GIVE PEOPLE AIDS AND THEY CAN DIE and you should just be real that you're gay and be proud which is 100% true and they should make Game the minister for health and LGBT issues or whatever and he talks about how he sees how you niggas be lookin at niggas when he aroun you be lookin at niggas crazy deep words now usually I would call him gay since that is funny but it is a fact that he is a heterosexual since creepy-chan in his waifu and we are waifu comrades anyway oh wow more Meta-Rustling™ I think because teknorat hung up on steam and had to call me back for some reason fraps recorded his audio really quietly you gotta make the steam call and then launch the game or fraps wont give preference to the steam call audio if you launch the game first and then make the call it'll give preference over the game audio even if you turn it all the way down I love computers so much annd then we go in the supermarket and play pacman with some zombies and then I see some man fan coming down the road and I have to clarify that its a human man fan not a zombie man fan since unlike friendo a man fan can apply to humans too I hadnt gotten this in-joke terminology down pat yet and I thought he couldnt shoot me through the window and I literally yell at him >IMPLYING YOU CAN GET ME THROUGH A WINDOW but he does he shoots me in the stomach and it looks like hes still trying to shoot at me but then oh theeeen the bullets wont go through but of course his smoke is drifting into the building nice well designed game but at least its keeping me alive and I think its the same guy who starts going after tek around the back and when I wake up and then I hear running in the back and teknorat comes in but my visions all blurry as fuck and I dont realize its him all his fault for not calling out that he was running into the building and I shoot him in the arm and he has to sit in the corner and bandage and this is one instance where covering actually helps because the guy with a horrible unreadable username hishagameltusyu comes in from the back and I literally stand between him and teknorat and takes the bullets for him and redeem myself for shooting him a few seconds before hand and I give my life shooting back at him and I think I get one shot off at him and then teknorat just manages to stop bandaging and shoots over my corpse killing him wow dramatic stuff I thought I got him but I didnt I had literally forgotten killing BewBew a few minutes ago lol Human life is worthless to me. :plain: then I spawn back in elektro and have a race through the school to find a weapon with another unarmed guy whos seemingly a twin from the matrix because he can run through walls and we're both getting fucked up with zombies so for once in my dayz career I try to help a rando and I tell this Dan guy to stand still while I bandage him but of course as soon as we are stood still a sniper blows my brains out and Dan's pro enough to immediately hit the ground but presumably hes next lmao or it was a trap and he led me out to the rooftop for a sniper to get me and got injured on purpose to make me stop and help just kidding that is way too advanced a plan for any retard who plays this game other than me and it relies on people not being selfish pricks so is doomed to fail also I died telling a porky pie about being a doctor in real life so I guess the moral of the story is dont lie well it wasnt a lie because one of my gimmicks is a doctor which is real to me damn it and I have another good instance of trying to have fun and then getting immediately sniped where I get to the control tower in balota airfield and I start yelling down to people running around on the landing strip but as soon as I say HEY THERE I get shot and when I wake up I bandage myself but I'm still taking damage for some reason and when I turn around two zombies are eating me alive lmao and I end up back in elektro in that school where a guy shoots me in the arm I shouolda dropped that smoke grenade and hopefully dropped the building ontop of him but i didnt know that trick yet and I run up to the roof looking for a bandage and I start begging some guy to bandage me and he actually does lmao so karma is paying me back for helping that other guy on the same roof but then teknorat leaves and my character has 1700 blood so I literally just throw myself off the roof of the fire station which is the correct way to win at DayZ and the zombie apocalypse and real life http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use%202/cf748659-51a6-41b2-a50f-af73c5e2486c_zpsf6b58cb8.jpg