Clarissa let's talk about where you're at in your life now

[TheLizardWhisperer]

How's your relationship with your grandparents?

[urkles girlfriend]

what do you think about sharks?

[urkles girlfriend]

they have small beady eyes in which to coldy regard their prey at the oceans surface.

[urkles girlfriend]

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/05/03/video-undefined-1D8A0D1700000578-293_636x358.jpg

[TheLizardWhisperer]

They are ok, just another reason not to fuck around in the ocean. Are you afraid to discuss personal things?

[urkles girlfriend]

i am afraid of sharks!

[urkles girlfriend]

they could swallow me whole!

[TheLizardWhisperer]

They could pick you up by your hair and throw you across the room!

[urkles girlfriend]

even worse! they could bite you in half!!!!

[TheLizardWhisperer]

it's ok you already have shark bait ;)

[urkles girlfriend]

I will assume that's a compliment. ^_^

[urkles girlfriend]

Keep trying to mess with me, you'll be disbarred from witty mememaking ever again.

[TheLizardWhisperer]

nothing wrong with sharkbait

[urkles girlfriend]

Are you referring to my vagina? thats not very subtle

[TheLizardWhisperer]

no I'm referring to your labia minora

[urkles girlfriend]

y-y-youre n-not calling it a piece of meat are you??!!! N-nooo NOOOOOOO!

[urkles girlfriend]

YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!!!! nf no witty mememaking itt move along folks

[TheLizardWhisperer]

meme is pronounced mee-mee

[urkles girlfriend]

you want to talk about my grandma you fuckicng not witty mememaking psysho fine

Once upon a time there was a dear little girl who was loved by everyone on the forums she posted at, but most of all by her grandmother.

One day her mother dead mother's ghost said to her: 'Come, Caggles, heres a box a wine; take it to your grandmother.'

[urkles girlfriend]

[QUOTE=TheLizardWhisperer;775526861]meme is pronounced mee-mee[/QUO

[TheLizardWhisperer]

did caggles drink the box of wine instead of taking it to granny?????!EDFDSF

[urkles girlfriend]

im too lazy to write the rest of it. im going crazy. ive been trapped at jons work all day im so bored

[urkles girlfriend]

i know that i want my cigarette early today

[TheLizardWhisperer]

was it bring your whore to work day?

[urkles girlfriend]

we are going to dave and busters with friends afterwords.

[TheLizardWhisperer]

dave and busters is where christians go oh right nvm,


anyway I used to have a pink unicorn tshirt that I wore a lot.

[urkles girlfriend]

cant watch game of thrones yet wears a pink unicorn shirt. way to be edgy

[urkles girlfriend]

thats fucking ridiculous you know

[TheLizardWhisperer]

it was a witty meme

[urkles girlfriend]

you'll never be a part of the witty meme making crew.

[TheLizardWhisperer]

http://i.imgur.com/4QMDE9G.jpg

this was my latest attempt and making a witty meme I hope this trend takes off

[TheLizardWhisperer]

cag I'm really tired I'm going to bed sorry you'll just have to be bored at jons work go flirt with his boss or something bye

[urkles girlfriend]

grossness images have now been blocked.

[urkles girlfriend]

Jon beat the time crisis game last night at dave and busters. This weekend we shall disc golf.

[TheLizardWhisperer]

Did he roleplay and duck behind the machine while reloading?

[urkles girlfriend]

hahahah no

[TheLizardWhisperer]

Clarissa don't you get bored at home while Jon is at work? Do you piss on the rug so he'll spank you when he gets home?

[urkles girlfriend]

Nawwwp

[urkles girlfriend]

There is gym, there is netflix, and there is games. A
Also laundry. There is always laundry. :(

[TheLizardWhisperer]

Better do that fucking laundry. Also what games are you playing these days

[urkles girlfriend]

smite. jon is building my new gaming desktop so i can play fallout 4 in november.

[urkles girlfriend]

i want to buy jon some presents so i'll probably buy him some games or something.

[TheLizardWhisperer]

Buy him ammo bitch

[urkles girlfriend]

I'll buy him another gun. He could always use another gun I suppose

[TheLizardWhisperer]

Consult with me on what to get him but not here our it won't be a surprise.

[urkles girlfriend]

i want to get him the barret 50 caliber sniper rifle or the bmg i think its called. it would be neat to have one

[urkles girlfriend]

just cus its so big and mean looking

[TheLizardWhisperer]

You don't have enough money lol

[urkles girlfriend]

thats where you're wrong. ^_________________^

[urkles girlfriend]

and thats all im going to say about that.

[TheLizardWhisperer]

How will you get to the gun store?

[urkles girlfriend]

you can buy guns online.

[TheLizardWhisperer]

You have to go to a store to pick them up.

[urkles girlfriend]

anyone in texas can buy a gun. I'm buying a car in a couple weeks, I need to get a weapon to protect my car in case i accidently drive thru the ghetto and get attacked by a lisa or a deranged crackhead.

[TheLizardWhisperer]

Ok so you just need to find a private seller in Texas who is selling a Barrett, you have no idea where to even start.

[urkles girlfriend]

I was just kidding about the barret. i can buy him more practical guns. im buying a cheap 38 (or a 22 if i can convince jon to let me buy one)

[urkles girlfriend]

he bitches that 22 pistols have no stopping power and are only good for executing people and that i will probably have terrible aim.

[TheLizardWhisperer]

If you're bad at aiming it's his fault for not teaching you. Anyway coming back to my point: you are housebound Lmao you can't even go buy a gun

[urkles girlfriend]

If you're bad at aiming it's his fault for not teaching you. Anyway coming back to my point: you are housebound Lmao you can't even go buy a gun

I sold my chrysler sebring before i left. haven't bought another car yet because i haven't needed one.

[urkles girlfriend]

If you're bad at aiming it's his fault for not teaching you. Anyway coming back to my point: you are housebound Lmao you can't even go buy a gun

I sold my chrysler sebring before i left. haven't bought another car yet because i haven't needed one.

[TheLizardWhisperer]

You're one of those girls that if you got locked up in a sex dungeon basement for years you'd never try to escape.

[urkles girlfriend]

You're one of those girls that if you got locked up in a sex dungeon basement for years you'd never try to escape.

dungeons are cheesy as fuck.

[urkles girlfriend]

and the guys who want to torture girls have small penis problems and insecurities..

[TheLizardWhisperer]

Pretty sure they don't torture, only rape. Anyway where do you see yourself in 10 years?

[urkles girlfriend]

how is rape NOT a form of torture? you think they would of taught you that at rent a cop school lol

[TheLizardWhisperer]

Because it's fun for both parties.

[urkles girlfriend]

they're never gonna let you be a real cop with that kind of attitude :wrong:

[TheLizardWhisperer]

Just like to point out that getting raped was the best thing that's ever happened to you.

[urkles girlfriend]

Just like to point out that getting raped was the best thing that's ever happened to you.

the rentacop typed furiously.

[urkles girlfriend]

the cries a baby echoed through the house, to which the rentacop ignored. the stripper must be brought to justice in the name of r/mensrights!

[TheLizardWhisperer]

Well let's review: the rape caused a drastic change I your lifestyle leading you to quit stripping. The rape was the only thing that amused me enough for ruby to get me to talk to you which he'd been bugging me to do to see what I'd get out of you. This led to the inevitable period videos and you hanging out with us in games, hanging out with jon and finally moving in with him. Without that rapist you'd have no jon and you'd still be stripping.

[urkles girlfriend]

you've put a lot of thought and care into this lmao

[TheLizardWhisperer]

No I've just stated some facts.

[urkles girlfriend]

which i didn't read :smug:

[TheLizardWhisperer]

Clarissa we have to finish ds9

[urkles girlfriend]

lmao

[TheLizardWhisperer]

I want to find out about the imaginatively named wormhole aliens

[urkles girlfriend]

you have way too much free time. don't you have any irl friends?

[TheLizardWhisperer]

I have loads same as you Lmao

[urkles girlfriend]

I'll take that as a no. Sad. :(

[TheLizardWhisperer]

Ruby won't let me date other men

[urkles girlfriend]

make some more unfunny jokes.

[TheLizardWhisperer]

Ok: Clarissa is an independent woman Lmao get it because she's not

[urkles girlfriend]

r/mensrights

[TheLizardWhisperer]

Your whole family posts on reddit.

[urkles girlfriend]

every post you make is like something out of the scorned r/mensrights threads.

[urkles girlfriend]

angry dweebs ranting how mean and horrible women are for desiring good providers.

[TheLizardWhisperer]

You don't get it, I like everything you doooo

[urkles girlfriend]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bv0A2iINenA

[TheLizardWhisperer]

especially the period stuff

[urkles girlfriend]

paul blart paul blart!!!!

[TheLizardWhisperer]

deep space (clarissa's vag) 9 (number of std's)

[TheLizardWhisperer]

Clarissa we need to finish ds9

[urkles girlfriend]

you should really check out paul blart.

[urkles girlfriend]

paul blart, mall cop

[TheLizardWhisperer]

I'm looking forward to paul blart 3: king of queers

[urkles girlfriend]

I'm sure you are, but that will have to wait until after you guarded the mall and drove around the parking lot in a truck with a light on the top

[TheLizardWhisperer]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HuuZwn0Bf8

[TheLizardWhisperer]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOShvSnL1dM

[urkles girlfriend]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_ld3IJ0sUU

[urkles girlfriend]

have you seen dawn of the dead? the mall's head of security is kinda like you lol

[urkles girlfriend]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNt7PNTuePY

[TheLizardWhisperer]

I can't grow mustaches like that