rubycalaber
06-06-2015, 07:45 AM
well I'm done making dayz threads of the mod at least if I ever go through all my stand alone footage I'll post some shit from it but it'll probably all be in one thread the first time I did this two fucking years ago it was like feeding my posting career bleach and today my internet accountant whos jewish of course stompleb informed me that rubynet got literally 0 posts on wednesday and thursday so now it's kind of like a good friend of mine that brought me together with all his other friends is really sick and the few remaining friends I know through him are saying wow isn't it a shame hes so sick and I am going oh uh huh mm hmm as I put him in a coffin and posting each of these threads is me hammering another nail into the coffin lid maybe my next thread project will have the dear old friend burst out the coffin rejuvenated or maybe he'll have been eaten alive by the lizards that got into the coffin and will only be a skeleton by then we'll see anyway first up for this wrap-up thread is another kill compilation, I made this video like 2 years ago it was the first thing I made for this season and when it was time to actually save it windows media player wasnt playing ball so I just fraps'd the preview of it lmao and some weird shit happened where it literally looks like a film reel that is out of sync in one clip and it literally syncs up with when explosions happen on screen so I just decided fuck it it looks cool and here you go, don't forget to watch in 1080p!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xtg4tuoX7I
heres the extra stuff I mentioned last thread some epic new ruby raps! first up is uh well remember in my l4d rap from 5 fucking years ago I had a bit where I rhymed like 40 things that ended with "-ation" (https://youtu.be/rd8qQ5oxroA?t=7m5s) and realized I could keep doing that indefinately well I ended up making an entire rap out the other words left over these raps in fact every rap I've ever made is one of these things where I have no idea why I made it other than it's funny that I ever made it now and even at the time I was making it it was funny that I was even making it as if I'm laughing at myself in the past and in the present and no doubt in the future so it exists so uh hope you don't enjoy because it'd be weird if you did, here's just the vocals if lonnie wants to remix it or whatever: http://rubycalaber.com/podcast/OOADOvocals.mp3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jDFg0fGvmg
"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation."
that was a bible quotation
now heres the translation:
gay faggots like you are headed for damnation! :raged:
even if you're affiliation
is with a massive bandit organization
that uses every hack there is for this modification
to set up an impenetrable fortification
you cant escape the anal annihilation
cus I roll with the proest niggas in this apocalypse simulation
we use steam chat for communication
we all have NVGs so we dont need flares for illumination
and since we always have access to aviation
we'll airdrop into your base of operation
I got its location
when your mate fell victim to my manipulation
he was minding his own business trying to enjoy some exploration
when I trolled him via misinformation
by telling him that the V step animation
could help him fight the zombie infestation
and once they'd caused him bad enough leg mutilation
I told him I'd only give him his morphine medication
if he gave me his cooperation
and told me where you'd set up your little civilization
but he also told me during his interrogation
all about how you've been arrested for child prostitute solicitation
I guess that explains why your steam avi is a shotacon illustration
pedos like you have a strong correlation
with people suffering from brain retardation
and dont give me shit about how it was only experimentation
and we all know there's no rehabilitation
for freaks guilty of child sex exploitation
here's my recommendation: mandatory castration, immediately upon identification :m0nde:
and when I had heard enough about your sick sex tourist vacation
I headshotted him with no hesitation
with full premeditation
and you're next to experience that victimization
you're like Heroes: destined for cancellation
I dont need any justification
I'm fundamentally immoral just like taxation
the only thing I believe in is incest legalization
I just need an outlet for my homicidal ideation
anyway after we've conducted our aerial infiltration
I'll plant some charges for demolition
on your main buildings foundation
so you'll be distracted during its detonation
so me and tek can move in in a pincer formation
with precise coordination
all he needs is an axe to cause severe jimmy agitation
so while he's killing half your team via decapitation
I'll be tossing a grenade into your fire station
its actually a smoke, not a fragmentation
dont worry you wont die from smoke inhalation
but it will cause you severe disorientation
and another causation
is building disintegration
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/smokebomb_zpsbdpraqog.gif~original
bet you didnt know about that application
its totally legit definitely not an exploitation
then we meet up for one huge confrontation
a shit cunt kicking collaboration
we make such a deadly combination
with perfect synchronization
your guys will think we have augmentation
time for some improvisation
looks like your crib needs a contamination
so we'll kite in some zombies to help with your mates eradication
human flesh is all they need to be paid for their participation
I bet you'd never think of that undead utilization
overrunning the place with them like in Resident: Evil Degeneration
we do like Wesker: Total Global Saturation
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/Gifs/albert-wesker-red-eyes-o_zpssmhp5dqo.gif~original
if we find any of your gang are only unconscious after a body examination
we'll drag them so when they wake up they face paralyzation
or let them take out their gun three times before we cap them just to add to the humiliation
if it's any consolation
maybe they'll appear in my next kill compilation
and as for your remaining team that have so far escaped obliteration
I'll leave that up to the deadly Dunro whos hiding in some vegetation
in a ghillie suit-I told you I dont know its pronunciation!
he's setting up his sniper's calibration
he wont need a range finder for this assassination
cus he can zero it in on your friends by sheer estimation
he doesnt even need the scope's magnification
and once he's done the bullet drop calculation
he unleashes the 50 cal devastation
he wont stop dumping until he has a kill confirmation
for each and every one of your remaining clans congregation
oh wait he's giving me some important timformation
sounds like you're try escape in some sorta transportation
you'll never make it to your destination
cus I'll hop in a pick-up truck like Bruce Willis in G.I. Joe: Retaliation
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/brucewillis_zpsbblewour.gif~original
and chase you down like the MotoTerminators in Salvation
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/mototerminator_zps3i0lxb31.gif~original
and shunt your car off the road with a little acceleration
like some shit outta the Speed Racer movie adaptation
that sends you flying into the ocean for some hydration
your teams yelling at you to undergo a car evacuation
but we cause you such intimidation
that you'd rather just sit under water out of desperation
welcoming your death from asphyxiation
and just when you think you can enjoy some relaxation
you start feeling that familiar rustling sensation
while your loading your characters new incarnation
yeah that'll be us waiting at your respawn location!
you thought you could escape the degradation
but this is only the start of your violation
the DayZ shithole shredder is my reputation
a serial rapist should be my vocation
the only consensual penetration
I've ever had in this game was when I cybered desolation
and thats not just flirtation
I fuck my main infatuation
with such gyration
she experiences such vibration
its like shes playing with a DualShock on the playstation
when I throat fuck her to the point of suffocation
coupled with a little strangulation
it causes her extreme elation :deso:
thank god this isnt second life with realistic fertilization
or she'd be experiencing an impregnation
not that I mind lactation!
just a clarification
this isnt an exaggeration
I actually have a hacker friend who can turn me into an Alsatian
it was worth going through domestication
so I can cause you severe rectum ruination
with a nice dog cum insemination
I'm not gonna leave anything up to your imagination
so here's a lovely visualization
for you to picture for your rapes duration
shits gonna go down like deliverance's gay molestation *sweeeeeeeeeee*
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use%202/deliverance_zpswothsveg.jpg~original
in real life you'll be experiencing heart palpitation
when my mates drop off their sperm donation
and use your bitch nigga tears as lubrication
no rose west we're not homos and let me give an explanation
and I dont wanna hear your implication
that this is just a rationalization
theres nothing gay about raping a man if its not for titillation
and just for the gratification
of causing him emotional exasperation
so for once barry doesnt have to question his orientation
and he's got a curved cock for your oral fixation
just be glad this game doesnt have urination
so while tek and tim cause you in-game anus aggravation
I'll cause you real-life emotional irritation
with my opinions on people with your pigmentation
I'm actually against negro emancipation
I'm more for racial discrimination
and the colonization
of any nation
that isnt caucasian
non-whites arnt human you're just a poor imitation
not even an approximation
and thats not a generalization
your gaming skills are the only bigger joke than racial integration
and do you want to know my policy on immigration?
I dont give a fuck if you have the right documentation
you dont even deserve incarceration
the only thing darkies need is extermination!
just fucking nuke africa it needs a thorough purification
and tell everyone else you're gonna die if you dont accept westernization
hail hitler is my favorite exclamation!
when I sing my black niggers song cody gives me a standing ovation! :kkk:
once your ass has reached maximum dilation
and you're stuffed full of ejaculation
you havnt seen the end of your painful stimulation
we'll give your legs some nice perforation
so bad you'll be begging for an amputation
but this isnt a negotiation
we'll hand you over to get gang banged by the local zombie population
but every time your screen starts to show too much discoloration
we'll blood bag you so you experience a regeneration
I'll torture you for hours its my specialization
the only way you're gonna die is from starvation
so in summation
if you fuck with the rubynet crew you'll regret ever passing BattlEye validation
dont fuck with us unless you like domination
and what else will they face? Termination. :glausmug:
heres how I make these things: I write a list of keywords related to the topic, then I paste each word into http://www.rhymezone.com/ and copy words I could make rhymes about, maybe this is how some professonal rappers do it too, except I presume they have a producer that says don't use literally every rhyming word just use two or three and move on so the song has a good flow and isnt too long, well obviously I dont have that so you end up with 16 minute long musical holocausts like this, here's the raw vocals: http://rubycalaber.com/podcast/RJOSWTvocals.mp3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiBeYXDJoXg
trollinator, did you spot that guy's dead body?
do you wanna know why he got eaten alive by a zombie?
You can tell me.
because I shot him in the knee!
goddamn look at the chat hes so angry!
how many people have told me today to go back to CoD?
It's been three.
think I'll get another n00b going for that ATV?
We'll see. :glausmirk:
oh theres one! *bang* Welcome to DayZ!
I hope you like looking out to sea
because that's mostly where you'll be
if you have the misfortune of being in a server with me
and you thought the worst monster from scotland was Nessie
oh hey why's your character so dirty, oh wait you're just a darkie, you sub-human monkey, I'll lynch your whole LAN party
kill you with a grenade like Charlie, set you on fire like Harvey, you're a useless slut like Harley
http://i.imgur.com/eBIrkG1.gif
you've let slip you fuck other men like Tom Hardy
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use%202/gaysex_zps89gstfsh.png~original
you're such a fag even Obama wouldnt let you in the US army
I'm even impressive when it comes to suffering from video game bullshit malarkey
when I encounter glitches shit gets crazy, but with you its like the game just gets lazy
once I went back in fucking time like Marty, you crawl over tiny rocks and end up more crippled than Artie
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use%202/c536da38-ec74-4ee1-a128-765d94cc917a_zpszk1c7ljd.jpg~original
yeah that was a reference to glee, and no I'm not sorry
you practice sucking dick on a sharpie, your favorite series of games is Barbie
you always try to get her to suck off her pony, yeah I'm a bit boney, all I eat is macaroni, but at least I'm not a brony
any accusations that I'm a phoney, are total baloney, I'm a super-genius like Tony
oh what's that I'm a retarded aspie? a hugbox escapee? I aint the one that got killed by going prone under a tree!
goddamn someone call the CDC, and not because of all the zombies running around free
when you bleed there's an outbreak of HIV!
cus you're a fan of BBC, and I aint talkin about british TV
you attend more African-American men-only parties than Allison Brie
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use%202/thedarkside_zpszne6oq5q.jpg~original
oh I've got something long black and hard for thee, open up and suck my M9SD!!!
get down on the fucking ground, press Z!
dont worry sonny, I aint gonna kill you asap
but your safety, I cannot guarantee, a happy ending for you I do not really foresee
but maybe if you entertain me, enough with your pathetic plea
as to why I shouldnt drain the rest of your HP, I might just leave you be
and dont think about logging out or I'll report your ID
and battleye will ban your CD Key, and you dont even want to know what I'll do with your IP
you dont deserve your equipment do you agree? stand still while I press G
sorry mate already got an AS50, so I dont need your shitty SVD
I've collected every single piece of loot like you've collected every single STD
now you're gonna fucking dance for me, go ahead and give me a little dougie!
what do you mean you dont know how? press V! god you're worse at this game than StompleB
and you're somehow more unfunny, than m0nde, now eat lead you fucking dafty
you shouldn't have hesitated to ask if I was friendly
you should know the only thing in this game more deadly
than crawling through a door is me!!!
I rustle faggots like you daily, my trolling skills cause severe envy
I get all these trollin niggas mad jelly, just like my main nigga stevey, when niggas see, his new PC
I'll sit for hours in Elektro Elementary, listening intently, for your entry
I know you're not here incidentally, you're looking for some little kids to play with like John Henry
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use%202/SCC220_JohnHenrySavannahChangeRules_zps9hp2wuyj.jpg~original
I'm a real asshole like Chevy, you aint gonna go gently, you gonna die screaming like the bitches at wembley
beg for mercy all you want you aint gonna get any, when I let my gun go into a full auto frenzy, you'll think you triggered the engies level three sentry
I dump my clip until its empty, give you a second on the house complementary, and the teabagging is supplementary
when everyone watches my lets plays they'll see, you didnt fight bravely, so dont even bother lying save your energy
theres no way an encounter with me, could end any differently, but jesus I didnt think you'd start crying so early
aww is your vision getting hazy? like you have a wonky eye like Ashley?
well feel free to fuck off and play WarZ!
Come and give it to me. :glauimplying:
looks like all this brutal killing has gotten trollinator horny
Get on top of me.
oh jeez now I've got a stiffy
welp, shouldnt keep a lady waiting, BRB!
http://i.imgur.com/5dro5kk.jpg
hang on I just thought of a reference to JayZ
if you're having triangle problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 game problems but a graphical glitch aint one
did you just try to hit me with that double barrel shotgun?
nice try let me show you how to shoot with my M4A1
you shoulda taken walt's advice and just run
but you wont be able to after I'm done
I'll leave you more crippled than his son
what's that hun?
you just wanted to have some fun?
nah mate you're having none
but I had some
so I guess that means I won
shooting people on sight might offend, however it's actually a pretty major trend
but here's a rare trolling technique I highly recommend
are you ready to ascend, to the next level of jimmy rustling where nothing else can contend?
be their friend, this playerbase is awful but just pretend, you like them and try not to condescend
when hes bandaging you defend, his broken bones you mend
supplies you lend, to every ill of his you tend, on you you want him to depend
your teamwork he might even commend, but soon enough his ammo he will expend
and it's time to let the mood descend, to a level where the relationship you could never amend
maybe wait as a steam friend invite he's about to send, and make sure he can comprehend
that this is exactly what you intend, his suffering you dont need to extend
just bust a cap and put his characters life to an end
his rage will transcend, a door making his legs bend
or even battleye giving his account a suspend
he'll be more butthurt than if his bowels would distend
my comeuppance will never impend, this bandit they will never apprehend, into the forest I will just blend
now if you were offended by this verse or whatever I just penned
let me append, that when you kill yourself your funeral no one will attend
you fucking bell end!
I dont give a fuck about writing a chorus
I just pop open the thesaurus
and the goodones come to me cus goddamn I'm so humorous
I'll unload into your face like you're Miley Cyrus, like it's time to make deso a cum sign goddamm shes so gorgeous
bet you love semen leaking across your iris, you're a gay nigger freak like Isis, you've sucked so many dicks now you have the AIDS virus
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use%202/2012-06-11_1312_zpsq8ngqalp.jpg~original
everyone can tell you're HIV plus, you're constantly leaking puss, out of your torn up anus
now we must discuss, how when it comes to video games I am a genius, thus, I'll run over your whole crew in a bus
slit you throat like Gus, blow you all up like him and his gay boyfriend Tyrus
I throw bombs around like I dont give a fuck like Horace
everyone unanimously hates you like Dolores
you're about to go missing and no one will even notice like Morris
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use%202/morris_zpsvdo9npnm.jpg~original
our loot's always so glamorous, all you have is a marakov so you're mad jelly of us
your small arms are always so small like the arms on a tyrannosaurus
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use%202/t-rex_zpskt7ydsvu.jpg~original
speaking of something carnivorous, let me just make your legs porous, leave you as food for some monkey business
why are you causing such a fuss, spewing out cuss after cuss, what are you crying now you fucking wuss? welcome to Chernarus!
when you're running through a field, make sure to keep your eyes peeled
you never know in which bush I'll be concealed, woops too late already took out your knee with my Lee Enfield
yeah I'm checking your gear why else do you think I just kneeled, wait what the fuck is this a windshield?
holy fuck you have the worst loot, its so minute, do you even know how to dupe? now dont chimp out like Joop
http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e41/truffula/Webmaze%20Pics/flash8-joop1.jpg
just because you've never worn a ghillie suit, and no I dont know how to pronounce that so dont even start a dispute
if you were trying to commute, between two towns you shoulda taken a different route, cus my power is absolute, you cannot refute, how with corpses this game I pollute
kid you're not playing Black Ops on recruit, if I spot you I will shoot, just for a hoot, I'm a brute, now crawl over here and lick my boot
wow those are some nice empty canteens, but I wasnt even looking for any beans
me and my bros only dine on the finest in-game cuisines, you've probably never even found a can of sardines
not that survivals really apart of our routines, we're simply out to rustle you by any means
to enlarge our e-peens, to make you get so angry you piss your jeans
we're the number one cause of smashed computer screens, now you're gonna admit you touch preteens
and suck off gay queens, dressed as marines, or eat lead from our Glock 17s
ok now pretend to lick these latrines, so we can take a picture that demeans
worse than all of Christine's, cool now we're gonna reenact all of my favorite rape scenes
I cant wait for the stand alone, too bad rocket had to postpone
when he saw my gameplay videos and was shown, how much I fucking own
but then he saw yours and they made him fucking groan, boy you sure do love crawling around prone
oh wait no you just broke a bone, by crawling over a little stone
you've gotten killed by a grenade you yourself had thrown, you didnt even try to run away before it had blown
you should really just end your career now like Stallone, your life expectancy is worse than an Alice clone
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use%202/alice_zpst8nkaqo8.jpg~original
you cannot escape me like the friendzone, oh wait sorry that implies you have any mates when you're forever alone
I always kill my target like Roan
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/Gifs/nikita/S02E04roanspot_zpsd1560d45.gif~original
but I don't mind killing women unlike Leon
and yes we know 13 year old Natalie Portman makes you moan, and that you're not interested now she's fully grown
pedophilia's the one thing I wont condone, just kidding its funny I'm just making sure your cover is blown
and the fact that you rape children is widely known
if all your sins you tried to atone, we'd have to call in TL;DR drone
fuck off and give Tyrone, a rusty trombone
you've sucked more dick than the amount of choppers I've flown
which is quite a lot since my plans always come together like Arvin Sloane
I'm the most badass Ruby since Miss Malone
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use/avatars/35avatarforsteveyosSHITTERRIBLEUNFUNNYforum_zpsd44fd27a.jpg~original
yeah that's right I took my username from a jewel, and you'll never find out my real name like Chrisopher Poole
alright lets meet up in the school, for an axe duel, the only rule, is we cant use guns cool?
just kidding I kneecapped you you bloody fool, and left you to get eaten by a ghoul
yeah I can be cruel, now lets see your loot wow an entrenching tool, thats even more useless than a barbed wire spool
now can I just interject
with some facts you'll just have to accept
as to why it is you're so inept?
why you're so easy to misdirect?
why you s-s-stutter when you try to talk to someone on direct?
why your hand shakes when a gun you try to select?
why when you're driving you panic and accidentally click eject?
why you're always too scared to go up to a body and click inspect?
why virtually every tactical decision you make is incorrect?
why all your shitty plans are so easy to expect?
why you'll never feel safe no matter how far north you've trekked?
why you're as useless as that stack of AK's you can't collect?
why whenever you hear a gunshot sound effect
you piss your pants and scramble to disconnect?
which thank god is an exploit the game can now detect
well would you like to know why you're such a reject?
all your shortcomings we're about to dissect
but its a, lets just say, "touchy" subject
some demons it might resurrect
it's because your a victim of child neglect
your dad being the main suspect
he probably made you play with his dick until he was erect
and then your ass he'd inject
with all his STDs that would start to infect
and if you ever talked back you'd get fucking decked
and your mom never bothered to protect
even when she walked in on you getting necked
and that urge you're feeling to object
maybe make a joke to deflect
or just start to project
is just because it's given you brain defect
which is why in games you constantly get #wrekt
are probably a member of a religious sect
and obama you were happy to elect
so please take time to reflect
I have and I had my privilege checked
that my care givers always treated me with respect
and never used me as a sex object
thats why at video games I am so adept
its like I'm chuck with the second intersect
not to say my mental health is perfect
I steal my sisters panties like I work for the underpants gnomes
I make better music Sean Combs
I kill more innocent people than James Holmes
no wait more than even Anders, when you pray to God it doesn't work like Flanders
let me give your squad a few ganders, hmm seems like your friends are all retarded bitches like Xander's
I wonder if that's why your team always meanders, into my fire like you're a bunch of salamanders, you're a bunch of cock commanders
you boys got more niggers coming inside you than every single restaurant owned by colonel sanders:kfc:
your chance of straight sex is worse than a panda!
your asshole is a black sperm bonanza
every night of your life is a gay orgy extravaganza
I seriously hope you guys dont do this like George Costanza
now excuse me I have some annoying little kids to murder like Adam Lanza
when you feel how this map my power is enveloping
the chills you will start developing
my skills are always strengthening
my kills got my e-penis lengthening
every single player I be deadening
their rage is deafening
when you see my name in the lobby your courage starts lessening
I've made the word ruby seem threatening
can sense the butthurt beckoning?
what are you? I am Chernaruses reckoning :bane:
everyone knows my name like Earl, so yeah its obvious I'd like to give being female a little whirl
I always make my character a girl, now I know usually those make your upper lip curl, when you see them naked it makes you hurl
just let me just give you a little twirl, it'll make your foreskin unfurl
but if you see my character I suggest you dont attack her, even if you're literally a hacker
because I'm a cheater trapper, I'll send videos of you exploiting to rocket on a silver platter
did I just hear your monitor shatter? goddamn you must be as mad as a hatter
but sometimes the game spawns me as a, you know, that word close to nagger, so whatever check my swagger
if your character is a cracker, a hillbilly whos jaw couldnt get any slacker, then you're in trouble because now I'm a honkey tracker,
a casper catcher, a whitey whacker, good job every peckerwood is a fudge packer
because when you meet this african leg snapper, I'll make you suck my big black dick without a wrapper, you love coon cock more than your mum, the slapper
oh wow, did that somehow get you madder? goddamn my trolling skills couldnt get any radder
I thought I'd never see anything sadder, than the final episode of black adder, but dear god your aim couldnt get any badder
maybe it's because whenever you see me you empty your bladder, I'm more likely to ruin your game than a motherfucking ladder
living in the woods is so fucking boring, I want to get my kill count soaring
get the blood pouring, hear the raged faggots roaring
I aint out to play a simulation of walking
I'm more in it for the player stalking
getting murders while shit talking
I'm always big balling, you wouldn't believe the loot I'm hauling
I'm still all in, you can have it all if you kill me while we're brawling
oh you're unarmed? guess you'll be the one falling
you might think thats appalling
sending a harmless man to the ground limbs sprawling
I just want to hear you bawling, that's what really gets me lolling
when I take out your legs and leave you crawling
I want to piss you off worse than invisible walling
I want to get you so mad you'll be uninstalling
inflicting pain is a crucial part of my true calling
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/Picasso1_zps6859351e.gif~original
I suggest you stay out of any of these cities
you never know when I might be sniping from of those chimneys
I have the power to get men mad as fuck just like Billy's
your whole family's poor, ugly and retarded like Ginny's
your name makes people think of shit like Winnie's
I'm gonna ruin your life worse than Gush did Timmy's
brace yourself because I'm coming to rustle your fucking jimmies!!!
you think yours are sore? because you got your legs broken by a door?
mate get back to me when you get eaten by a floor, when you're just with a bro trying to explore
so now I just camp the Elektro store, waiting to send faggots like you back to the shore
fighting you was a bigger let down than spore, you stopped dead in your tracks fiddling to Alt+F4
mate are you lagging because I doubt you could even kill a boar, I know you're searching for kiddy porn but please close TOR
I hope you miss your gear so bad you don't even want to play anymore
oh sorry that implies you've found one good piece of equipment before
your load out would make an insomniac snore
might as well give you the rustling you're seemingly asking for, by explaining one of the many ways I make my kill count soar
how to really make the bitch nigga tears pour, and the proper way to use C4
let me just have some of that macaroni and cheese that I adore
:naughtymac:
for my convenience they canned it, ok here's how to get your victims butt more hurt than if you tanned it, then brand it
this'll rustle more jimmies than my black niggers rap and youtube actually banned it, what about your last video oh thats right the commenters panned it
getting a little bored of PvP and want to expand it? found a huey and already got enough kills when you last manned it?
find an obvious place to land it, a field the chopper will be easily spotted after your targets scanned it, that's right you're just going to hand it
over to him and it, may be difficult but try to withstand it, I demand it
because this is what it means to be a bandit, that you'll get to say you planned it
when you blow that shit, obliterate that git, with one button hit, without even moving from where you sit
now that the scheme that you've knit, has come together and hes mad more than just a bit
it's time to break his spirit, make him rage quit, the fires of butthurt have already been lit
remind him he's never touched a tit, couldnt ever find the clit, unfunnier than an SNL skit
that he probably cried when Brad Pitt, and Jennifer split
that he couldnt even kill a rabbit, never remembers to reload his hatchet
cant work out how to open a bandage packet, will never get a high tech gadget, wants to yiff Ratchet
personally I just let them know I'm a brit, and whatever country hes from isnt fit, to drink my spit
go ahead and make a thread whining to rocket, I'll just mock it, until you're just like aww cock it, and John Locke it
http://wp.production.patheos.com/blogs/exploringourmatrix/files/2015/02/Locke-suicide.jpg
that means you should an hero, specifically fucking hang yourself bro, you deserve to swing from a tree like a negro
yeah thats right I'm a racist so, if you're a latino, back over the border you go, fuck off back to Rio
and you're getting called a microphone head if you have an afro, hope that hurts your ego
you call my kind this game's cancer but no, actually we're the chemo, notice how all your stats are at zero
meanwhile from Cherno, to Elektro, I'm the most pro, reflexes as fast as a neutrino, odds stacked in my favor like a casino
I'm into necro, and after I'm done fucking a zombie I kill it with my crossbow, like Daryl from that shitty Walking Dead show
take out entire hoards with one grenade throw, steal cars like this is saints row, run over you like you're in GTA up against the trumpet trio
when I get ahold of an axe you're like oh no
shits about to get as bloody as something directed by tarantino
but this time the white guy kills all the niggers cus this aint Django
pulling off meele weapon moves like Neo, did in the Merovingian's chateau
fighting game skills up there with Reno, that was a nice reference just for deso
goddamn she is so moe, wait I shoulda saved that word for a simpsons reference d'oh!
anyway speaking of who we last fucked yeah uh oh, whats with you molesting that little bambino?
is this all because you got diddled by uncle Joe? is that why you suck more cocks than the succubus Bo?
yeah thats right I rap about nerdy shit like Childish Gambino
although, I still inspire terror like Scarecrow, consider that a shoutout to my hommies on /co/
now thats whats left of your jimmies has been delivered to your mother in an urn
this rap I am about to adjourn
but my motivation still seems to be causing concern
sometimes it can be hard to discern
your loot I dont even want to earn
to ruin your fun is all I yearn
I want to make you fucking miserable at every turn
to make you so paranoid you check every fern
so every time you open a door you gurn
every corner you check makes your stomach churn
for every attempt at enjoyment to be met with spurn
for you to quit the game and never return
you dumb faggot when will you learn?
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/Gifs/tumblr_inline_mqcm1zQTmp1r53nki_zpsxvkypsgr.gif~original
EXTRA BONUS MATERIAL
just to get all the dayz mod related material off of my harddrives so I never have to think about it ever again here is some videos timbo sent me over skype, the first one is the full version of tim's footage of the time fucking three years ago where we killed some brony faggot twice (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n55UGlxmfLk) so it's kind of like a sidequel or whatever, the top kek goes down @ 03:28 when tim starts dumping while screaming FUCK MY LITTLE PONY! at him over and over again
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxzIN3N9XZo
the second is three clips of operating that tim sent me that didn't appear in his own kill compilation he made (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kjta0q4vWGQ) for some bogan reason, the first clip is pretty operator where he takes out 4 members of a 5 man team entire through long range AKM sniping while hiding in a building iraqi insurgent style before the last man standing gets him and comes up to his knocked out body and says bet you feel pretty stupid now dont you in a bogan voice and headshots him well probably no since he killed 4 of your friends fucking aussies
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOn2AU96Wtk
welp thanks for sticking with me folks *camera pans around to reveal an entirely empty room, like that scene in Angel where throughout the episode Lorne is telling a story during a stand up routine and it turns out he was talking to no one and was on stage by himself in an empty theater*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xtg4tuoX7I
heres the extra stuff I mentioned last thread some epic new ruby raps! first up is uh well remember in my l4d rap from 5 fucking years ago I had a bit where I rhymed like 40 things that ended with "-ation" (https://youtu.be/rd8qQ5oxroA?t=7m5s) and realized I could keep doing that indefinately well I ended up making an entire rap out the other words left over these raps in fact every rap I've ever made is one of these things where I have no idea why I made it other than it's funny that I ever made it now and even at the time I was making it it was funny that I was even making it as if I'm laughing at myself in the past and in the present and no doubt in the future so it exists so uh hope you don't enjoy because it'd be weird if you did, here's just the vocals if lonnie wants to remix it or whatever: http://rubycalaber.com/podcast/OOADOvocals.mp3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jDFg0fGvmg
"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation."
that was a bible quotation
now heres the translation:
gay faggots like you are headed for damnation! :raged:
even if you're affiliation
is with a massive bandit organization
that uses every hack there is for this modification
to set up an impenetrable fortification
you cant escape the anal annihilation
cus I roll with the proest niggas in this apocalypse simulation
we use steam chat for communication
we all have NVGs so we dont need flares for illumination
and since we always have access to aviation
we'll airdrop into your base of operation
I got its location
when your mate fell victim to my manipulation
he was minding his own business trying to enjoy some exploration
when I trolled him via misinformation
by telling him that the V step animation
could help him fight the zombie infestation
and once they'd caused him bad enough leg mutilation
I told him I'd only give him his morphine medication
if he gave me his cooperation
and told me where you'd set up your little civilization
but he also told me during his interrogation
all about how you've been arrested for child prostitute solicitation
I guess that explains why your steam avi is a shotacon illustration
pedos like you have a strong correlation
with people suffering from brain retardation
and dont give me shit about how it was only experimentation
and we all know there's no rehabilitation
for freaks guilty of child sex exploitation
here's my recommendation: mandatory castration, immediately upon identification :m0nde:
and when I had heard enough about your sick sex tourist vacation
I headshotted him with no hesitation
with full premeditation
and you're next to experience that victimization
you're like Heroes: destined for cancellation
I dont need any justification
I'm fundamentally immoral just like taxation
the only thing I believe in is incest legalization
I just need an outlet for my homicidal ideation
anyway after we've conducted our aerial infiltration
I'll plant some charges for demolition
on your main buildings foundation
so you'll be distracted during its detonation
so me and tek can move in in a pincer formation
with precise coordination
all he needs is an axe to cause severe jimmy agitation
so while he's killing half your team via decapitation
I'll be tossing a grenade into your fire station
its actually a smoke, not a fragmentation
dont worry you wont die from smoke inhalation
but it will cause you severe disorientation
and another causation
is building disintegration
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/smokebomb_zpsbdpraqog.gif~original
bet you didnt know about that application
its totally legit definitely not an exploitation
then we meet up for one huge confrontation
a shit cunt kicking collaboration
we make such a deadly combination
with perfect synchronization
your guys will think we have augmentation
time for some improvisation
looks like your crib needs a contamination
so we'll kite in some zombies to help with your mates eradication
human flesh is all they need to be paid for their participation
I bet you'd never think of that undead utilization
overrunning the place with them like in Resident: Evil Degeneration
we do like Wesker: Total Global Saturation
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/Gifs/albert-wesker-red-eyes-o_zpssmhp5dqo.gif~original
if we find any of your gang are only unconscious after a body examination
we'll drag them so when they wake up they face paralyzation
or let them take out their gun three times before we cap them just to add to the humiliation
if it's any consolation
maybe they'll appear in my next kill compilation
and as for your remaining team that have so far escaped obliteration
I'll leave that up to the deadly Dunro whos hiding in some vegetation
in a ghillie suit-I told you I dont know its pronunciation!
he's setting up his sniper's calibration
he wont need a range finder for this assassination
cus he can zero it in on your friends by sheer estimation
he doesnt even need the scope's magnification
and once he's done the bullet drop calculation
he unleashes the 50 cal devastation
he wont stop dumping until he has a kill confirmation
for each and every one of your remaining clans congregation
oh wait he's giving me some important timformation
sounds like you're try escape in some sorta transportation
you'll never make it to your destination
cus I'll hop in a pick-up truck like Bruce Willis in G.I. Joe: Retaliation
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/brucewillis_zpsbblewour.gif~original
and chase you down like the MotoTerminators in Salvation
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/mototerminator_zps3i0lxb31.gif~original
and shunt your car off the road with a little acceleration
like some shit outta the Speed Racer movie adaptation
that sends you flying into the ocean for some hydration
your teams yelling at you to undergo a car evacuation
but we cause you such intimidation
that you'd rather just sit under water out of desperation
welcoming your death from asphyxiation
and just when you think you can enjoy some relaxation
you start feeling that familiar rustling sensation
while your loading your characters new incarnation
yeah that'll be us waiting at your respawn location!
you thought you could escape the degradation
but this is only the start of your violation
the DayZ shithole shredder is my reputation
a serial rapist should be my vocation
the only consensual penetration
I've ever had in this game was when I cybered desolation
and thats not just flirtation
I fuck my main infatuation
with such gyration
she experiences such vibration
its like shes playing with a DualShock on the playstation
when I throat fuck her to the point of suffocation
coupled with a little strangulation
it causes her extreme elation :deso:
thank god this isnt second life with realistic fertilization
or she'd be experiencing an impregnation
not that I mind lactation!
just a clarification
this isnt an exaggeration
I actually have a hacker friend who can turn me into an Alsatian
it was worth going through domestication
so I can cause you severe rectum ruination
with a nice dog cum insemination
I'm not gonna leave anything up to your imagination
so here's a lovely visualization
for you to picture for your rapes duration
shits gonna go down like deliverance's gay molestation *sweeeeeeeeeee*
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use%202/deliverance_zpswothsveg.jpg~original
in real life you'll be experiencing heart palpitation
when my mates drop off their sperm donation
and use your bitch nigga tears as lubrication
no rose west we're not homos and let me give an explanation
and I dont wanna hear your implication
that this is just a rationalization
theres nothing gay about raping a man if its not for titillation
and just for the gratification
of causing him emotional exasperation
so for once barry doesnt have to question his orientation
and he's got a curved cock for your oral fixation
just be glad this game doesnt have urination
so while tek and tim cause you in-game anus aggravation
I'll cause you real-life emotional irritation
with my opinions on people with your pigmentation
I'm actually against negro emancipation
I'm more for racial discrimination
and the colonization
of any nation
that isnt caucasian
non-whites arnt human you're just a poor imitation
not even an approximation
and thats not a generalization
your gaming skills are the only bigger joke than racial integration
and do you want to know my policy on immigration?
I dont give a fuck if you have the right documentation
you dont even deserve incarceration
the only thing darkies need is extermination!
just fucking nuke africa it needs a thorough purification
and tell everyone else you're gonna die if you dont accept westernization
hail hitler is my favorite exclamation!
when I sing my black niggers song cody gives me a standing ovation! :kkk:
once your ass has reached maximum dilation
and you're stuffed full of ejaculation
you havnt seen the end of your painful stimulation
we'll give your legs some nice perforation
so bad you'll be begging for an amputation
but this isnt a negotiation
we'll hand you over to get gang banged by the local zombie population
but every time your screen starts to show too much discoloration
we'll blood bag you so you experience a regeneration
I'll torture you for hours its my specialization
the only way you're gonna die is from starvation
so in summation
if you fuck with the rubynet crew you'll regret ever passing BattlEye validation
dont fuck with us unless you like domination
and what else will they face? Termination. :glausmug:
heres how I make these things: I write a list of keywords related to the topic, then I paste each word into http://www.rhymezone.com/ and copy words I could make rhymes about, maybe this is how some professonal rappers do it too, except I presume they have a producer that says don't use literally every rhyming word just use two or three and move on so the song has a good flow and isnt too long, well obviously I dont have that so you end up with 16 minute long musical holocausts like this, here's the raw vocals: http://rubycalaber.com/podcast/RJOSWTvocals.mp3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiBeYXDJoXg
trollinator, did you spot that guy's dead body?
do you wanna know why he got eaten alive by a zombie?
You can tell me.
because I shot him in the knee!
goddamn look at the chat hes so angry!
how many people have told me today to go back to CoD?
It's been three.
think I'll get another n00b going for that ATV?
We'll see. :glausmirk:
oh theres one! *bang* Welcome to DayZ!
I hope you like looking out to sea
because that's mostly where you'll be
if you have the misfortune of being in a server with me
and you thought the worst monster from scotland was Nessie
oh hey why's your character so dirty, oh wait you're just a darkie, you sub-human monkey, I'll lynch your whole LAN party
kill you with a grenade like Charlie, set you on fire like Harvey, you're a useless slut like Harley
http://i.imgur.com/eBIrkG1.gif
you've let slip you fuck other men like Tom Hardy
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use%202/gaysex_zps89gstfsh.png~original
you're such a fag even Obama wouldnt let you in the US army
I'm even impressive when it comes to suffering from video game bullshit malarkey
when I encounter glitches shit gets crazy, but with you its like the game just gets lazy
once I went back in fucking time like Marty, you crawl over tiny rocks and end up more crippled than Artie
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use%202/c536da38-ec74-4ee1-a128-765d94cc917a_zpszk1c7ljd.jpg~original
yeah that was a reference to glee, and no I'm not sorry
you practice sucking dick on a sharpie, your favorite series of games is Barbie
you always try to get her to suck off her pony, yeah I'm a bit boney, all I eat is macaroni, but at least I'm not a brony
any accusations that I'm a phoney, are total baloney, I'm a super-genius like Tony
oh what's that I'm a retarded aspie? a hugbox escapee? I aint the one that got killed by going prone under a tree!
goddamn someone call the CDC, and not because of all the zombies running around free
when you bleed there's an outbreak of HIV!
cus you're a fan of BBC, and I aint talkin about british TV
you attend more African-American men-only parties than Allison Brie
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use%202/thedarkside_zpszne6oq5q.jpg~original
oh I've got something long black and hard for thee, open up and suck my M9SD!!!
get down on the fucking ground, press Z!
dont worry sonny, I aint gonna kill you asap
but your safety, I cannot guarantee, a happy ending for you I do not really foresee
but maybe if you entertain me, enough with your pathetic plea
as to why I shouldnt drain the rest of your HP, I might just leave you be
and dont think about logging out or I'll report your ID
and battleye will ban your CD Key, and you dont even want to know what I'll do with your IP
you dont deserve your equipment do you agree? stand still while I press G
sorry mate already got an AS50, so I dont need your shitty SVD
I've collected every single piece of loot like you've collected every single STD
now you're gonna fucking dance for me, go ahead and give me a little dougie!
what do you mean you dont know how? press V! god you're worse at this game than StompleB
and you're somehow more unfunny, than m0nde, now eat lead you fucking dafty
you shouldn't have hesitated to ask if I was friendly
you should know the only thing in this game more deadly
than crawling through a door is me!!!
I rustle faggots like you daily, my trolling skills cause severe envy
I get all these trollin niggas mad jelly, just like my main nigga stevey, when niggas see, his new PC
I'll sit for hours in Elektro Elementary, listening intently, for your entry
I know you're not here incidentally, you're looking for some little kids to play with like John Henry
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use%202/SCC220_JohnHenrySavannahChangeRules_zps9hp2wuyj.jpg~original
I'm a real asshole like Chevy, you aint gonna go gently, you gonna die screaming like the bitches at wembley
beg for mercy all you want you aint gonna get any, when I let my gun go into a full auto frenzy, you'll think you triggered the engies level three sentry
I dump my clip until its empty, give you a second on the house complementary, and the teabagging is supplementary
when everyone watches my lets plays they'll see, you didnt fight bravely, so dont even bother lying save your energy
theres no way an encounter with me, could end any differently, but jesus I didnt think you'd start crying so early
aww is your vision getting hazy? like you have a wonky eye like Ashley?
well feel free to fuck off and play WarZ!
Come and give it to me. :glauimplying:
looks like all this brutal killing has gotten trollinator horny
Get on top of me.
oh jeez now I've got a stiffy
welp, shouldnt keep a lady waiting, BRB!
http://i.imgur.com/5dro5kk.jpg
hang on I just thought of a reference to JayZ
if you're having triangle problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 game problems but a graphical glitch aint one
did you just try to hit me with that double barrel shotgun?
nice try let me show you how to shoot with my M4A1
you shoulda taken walt's advice and just run
but you wont be able to after I'm done
I'll leave you more crippled than his son
what's that hun?
you just wanted to have some fun?
nah mate you're having none
but I had some
so I guess that means I won
shooting people on sight might offend, however it's actually a pretty major trend
but here's a rare trolling technique I highly recommend
are you ready to ascend, to the next level of jimmy rustling where nothing else can contend?
be their friend, this playerbase is awful but just pretend, you like them and try not to condescend
when hes bandaging you defend, his broken bones you mend
supplies you lend, to every ill of his you tend, on you you want him to depend
your teamwork he might even commend, but soon enough his ammo he will expend
and it's time to let the mood descend, to a level where the relationship you could never amend
maybe wait as a steam friend invite he's about to send, and make sure he can comprehend
that this is exactly what you intend, his suffering you dont need to extend
just bust a cap and put his characters life to an end
his rage will transcend, a door making his legs bend
or even battleye giving his account a suspend
he'll be more butthurt than if his bowels would distend
my comeuppance will never impend, this bandit they will never apprehend, into the forest I will just blend
now if you were offended by this verse or whatever I just penned
let me append, that when you kill yourself your funeral no one will attend
you fucking bell end!
I dont give a fuck about writing a chorus
I just pop open the thesaurus
and the goodones come to me cus goddamn I'm so humorous
I'll unload into your face like you're Miley Cyrus, like it's time to make deso a cum sign goddamm shes so gorgeous
bet you love semen leaking across your iris, you're a gay nigger freak like Isis, you've sucked so many dicks now you have the AIDS virus
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use%202/2012-06-11_1312_zpsq8ngqalp.jpg~original
everyone can tell you're HIV plus, you're constantly leaking puss, out of your torn up anus
now we must discuss, how when it comes to video games I am a genius, thus, I'll run over your whole crew in a bus
slit you throat like Gus, blow you all up like him and his gay boyfriend Tyrus
I throw bombs around like I dont give a fuck like Horace
everyone unanimously hates you like Dolores
you're about to go missing and no one will even notice like Morris
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use%202/morris_zpsvdo9npnm.jpg~original
our loot's always so glamorous, all you have is a marakov so you're mad jelly of us
your small arms are always so small like the arms on a tyrannosaurus
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use%202/t-rex_zpskt7ydsvu.jpg~original
speaking of something carnivorous, let me just make your legs porous, leave you as food for some monkey business
why are you causing such a fuss, spewing out cuss after cuss, what are you crying now you fucking wuss? welcome to Chernarus!
when you're running through a field, make sure to keep your eyes peeled
you never know in which bush I'll be concealed, woops too late already took out your knee with my Lee Enfield
yeah I'm checking your gear why else do you think I just kneeled, wait what the fuck is this a windshield?
holy fuck you have the worst loot, its so minute, do you even know how to dupe? now dont chimp out like Joop
http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e41/truffula/Webmaze%20Pics/flash8-joop1.jpg
just because you've never worn a ghillie suit, and no I dont know how to pronounce that so dont even start a dispute
if you were trying to commute, between two towns you shoulda taken a different route, cus my power is absolute, you cannot refute, how with corpses this game I pollute
kid you're not playing Black Ops on recruit, if I spot you I will shoot, just for a hoot, I'm a brute, now crawl over here and lick my boot
wow those are some nice empty canteens, but I wasnt even looking for any beans
me and my bros only dine on the finest in-game cuisines, you've probably never even found a can of sardines
not that survivals really apart of our routines, we're simply out to rustle you by any means
to enlarge our e-peens, to make you get so angry you piss your jeans
we're the number one cause of smashed computer screens, now you're gonna admit you touch preteens
and suck off gay queens, dressed as marines, or eat lead from our Glock 17s
ok now pretend to lick these latrines, so we can take a picture that demeans
worse than all of Christine's, cool now we're gonna reenact all of my favorite rape scenes
I cant wait for the stand alone, too bad rocket had to postpone
when he saw my gameplay videos and was shown, how much I fucking own
but then he saw yours and they made him fucking groan, boy you sure do love crawling around prone
oh wait no you just broke a bone, by crawling over a little stone
you've gotten killed by a grenade you yourself had thrown, you didnt even try to run away before it had blown
you should really just end your career now like Stallone, your life expectancy is worse than an Alice clone
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use%202/alice_zpst8nkaqo8.jpg~original
you cannot escape me like the friendzone, oh wait sorry that implies you have any mates when you're forever alone
I always kill my target like Roan
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/Gifs/nikita/S02E04roanspot_zpsd1560d45.gif~original
but I don't mind killing women unlike Leon
and yes we know 13 year old Natalie Portman makes you moan, and that you're not interested now she's fully grown
pedophilia's the one thing I wont condone, just kidding its funny I'm just making sure your cover is blown
and the fact that you rape children is widely known
if all your sins you tried to atone, we'd have to call in TL;DR drone
fuck off and give Tyrone, a rusty trombone
you've sucked more dick than the amount of choppers I've flown
which is quite a lot since my plans always come together like Arvin Sloane
I'm the most badass Ruby since Miss Malone
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/In%20use/avatars/35avatarforsteveyosSHITTERRIBLEUNFUNNYforum_zpsd44fd27a.jpg~original
yeah that's right I took my username from a jewel, and you'll never find out my real name like Chrisopher Poole
alright lets meet up in the school, for an axe duel, the only rule, is we cant use guns cool?
just kidding I kneecapped you you bloody fool, and left you to get eaten by a ghoul
yeah I can be cruel, now lets see your loot wow an entrenching tool, thats even more useless than a barbed wire spool
now can I just interject
with some facts you'll just have to accept
as to why it is you're so inept?
why you're so easy to misdirect?
why you s-s-stutter when you try to talk to someone on direct?
why your hand shakes when a gun you try to select?
why when you're driving you panic and accidentally click eject?
why you're always too scared to go up to a body and click inspect?
why virtually every tactical decision you make is incorrect?
why all your shitty plans are so easy to expect?
why you'll never feel safe no matter how far north you've trekked?
why you're as useless as that stack of AK's you can't collect?
why whenever you hear a gunshot sound effect
you piss your pants and scramble to disconnect?
which thank god is an exploit the game can now detect
well would you like to know why you're such a reject?
all your shortcomings we're about to dissect
but its a, lets just say, "touchy" subject
some demons it might resurrect
it's because your a victim of child neglect
your dad being the main suspect
he probably made you play with his dick until he was erect
and then your ass he'd inject
with all his STDs that would start to infect
and if you ever talked back you'd get fucking decked
and your mom never bothered to protect
even when she walked in on you getting necked
and that urge you're feeling to object
maybe make a joke to deflect
or just start to project
is just because it's given you brain defect
which is why in games you constantly get #wrekt
are probably a member of a religious sect
and obama you were happy to elect
so please take time to reflect
I have and I had my privilege checked
that my care givers always treated me with respect
and never used me as a sex object
thats why at video games I am so adept
its like I'm chuck with the second intersect
not to say my mental health is perfect
I steal my sisters panties like I work for the underpants gnomes
I make better music Sean Combs
I kill more innocent people than James Holmes
no wait more than even Anders, when you pray to God it doesn't work like Flanders
let me give your squad a few ganders, hmm seems like your friends are all retarded bitches like Xander's
I wonder if that's why your team always meanders, into my fire like you're a bunch of salamanders, you're a bunch of cock commanders
you boys got more niggers coming inside you than every single restaurant owned by colonel sanders:kfc:
your chance of straight sex is worse than a panda!
your asshole is a black sperm bonanza
every night of your life is a gay orgy extravaganza
I seriously hope you guys dont do this like George Costanza
now excuse me I have some annoying little kids to murder like Adam Lanza
when you feel how this map my power is enveloping
the chills you will start developing
my skills are always strengthening
my kills got my e-penis lengthening
every single player I be deadening
their rage is deafening
when you see my name in the lobby your courage starts lessening
I've made the word ruby seem threatening
can sense the butthurt beckoning?
what are you? I am Chernaruses reckoning :bane:
everyone knows my name like Earl, so yeah its obvious I'd like to give being female a little whirl
I always make my character a girl, now I know usually those make your upper lip curl, when you see them naked it makes you hurl
just let me just give you a little twirl, it'll make your foreskin unfurl
but if you see my character I suggest you dont attack her, even if you're literally a hacker
because I'm a cheater trapper, I'll send videos of you exploiting to rocket on a silver platter
did I just hear your monitor shatter? goddamn you must be as mad as a hatter
but sometimes the game spawns me as a, you know, that word close to nagger, so whatever check my swagger
if your character is a cracker, a hillbilly whos jaw couldnt get any slacker, then you're in trouble because now I'm a honkey tracker,
a casper catcher, a whitey whacker, good job every peckerwood is a fudge packer
because when you meet this african leg snapper, I'll make you suck my big black dick without a wrapper, you love coon cock more than your mum, the slapper
oh wow, did that somehow get you madder? goddamn my trolling skills couldnt get any radder
I thought I'd never see anything sadder, than the final episode of black adder, but dear god your aim couldnt get any badder
maybe it's because whenever you see me you empty your bladder, I'm more likely to ruin your game than a motherfucking ladder
living in the woods is so fucking boring, I want to get my kill count soaring
get the blood pouring, hear the raged faggots roaring
I aint out to play a simulation of walking
I'm more in it for the player stalking
getting murders while shit talking
I'm always big balling, you wouldn't believe the loot I'm hauling
I'm still all in, you can have it all if you kill me while we're brawling
oh you're unarmed? guess you'll be the one falling
you might think thats appalling
sending a harmless man to the ground limbs sprawling
I just want to hear you bawling, that's what really gets me lolling
when I take out your legs and leave you crawling
I want to piss you off worse than invisible walling
I want to get you so mad you'll be uninstalling
inflicting pain is a crucial part of my true calling
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/Picasso1_zps6859351e.gif~original
I suggest you stay out of any of these cities
you never know when I might be sniping from of those chimneys
I have the power to get men mad as fuck just like Billy's
your whole family's poor, ugly and retarded like Ginny's
your name makes people think of shit like Winnie's
I'm gonna ruin your life worse than Gush did Timmy's
brace yourself because I'm coming to rustle your fucking jimmies!!!
you think yours are sore? because you got your legs broken by a door?
mate get back to me when you get eaten by a floor, when you're just with a bro trying to explore
so now I just camp the Elektro store, waiting to send faggots like you back to the shore
fighting you was a bigger let down than spore, you stopped dead in your tracks fiddling to Alt+F4
mate are you lagging because I doubt you could even kill a boar, I know you're searching for kiddy porn but please close TOR
I hope you miss your gear so bad you don't even want to play anymore
oh sorry that implies you've found one good piece of equipment before
your load out would make an insomniac snore
might as well give you the rustling you're seemingly asking for, by explaining one of the many ways I make my kill count soar
how to really make the bitch nigga tears pour, and the proper way to use C4
let me just have some of that macaroni and cheese that I adore
:naughtymac:
for my convenience they canned it, ok here's how to get your victims butt more hurt than if you tanned it, then brand it
this'll rustle more jimmies than my black niggers rap and youtube actually banned it, what about your last video oh thats right the commenters panned it
getting a little bored of PvP and want to expand it? found a huey and already got enough kills when you last manned it?
find an obvious place to land it, a field the chopper will be easily spotted after your targets scanned it, that's right you're just going to hand it
over to him and it, may be difficult but try to withstand it, I demand it
because this is what it means to be a bandit, that you'll get to say you planned it
when you blow that shit, obliterate that git, with one button hit, without even moving from where you sit
now that the scheme that you've knit, has come together and hes mad more than just a bit
it's time to break his spirit, make him rage quit, the fires of butthurt have already been lit
remind him he's never touched a tit, couldnt ever find the clit, unfunnier than an SNL skit
that he probably cried when Brad Pitt, and Jennifer split
that he couldnt even kill a rabbit, never remembers to reload his hatchet
cant work out how to open a bandage packet, will never get a high tech gadget, wants to yiff Ratchet
personally I just let them know I'm a brit, and whatever country hes from isnt fit, to drink my spit
go ahead and make a thread whining to rocket, I'll just mock it, until you're just like aww cock it, and John Locke it
http://wp.production.patheos.com/blogs/exploringourmatrix/files/2015/02/Locke-suicide.jpg
that means you should an hero, specifically fucking hang yourself bro, you deserve to swing from a tree like a negro
yeah thats right I'm a racist so, if you're a latino, back over the border you go, fuck off back to Rio
and you're getting called a microphone head if you have an afro, hope that hurts your ego
you call my kind this game's cancer but no, actually we're the chemo, notice how all your stats are at zero
meanwhile from Cherno, to Elektro, I'm the most pro, reflexes as fast as a neutrino, odds stacked in my favor like a casino
I'm into necro, and after I'm done fucking a zombie I kill it with my crossbow, like Daryl from that shitty Walking Dead show
take out entire hoards with one grenade throw, steal cars like this is saints row, run over you like you're in GTA up against the trumpet trio
when I get ahold of an axe you're like oh no
shits about to get as bloody as something directed by tarantino
but this time the white guy kills all the niggers cus this aint Django
pulling off meele weapon moves like Neo, did in the Merovingian's chateau
fighting game skills up there with Reno, that was a nice reference just for deso
goddamn she is so moe, wait I shoulda saved that word for a simpsons reference d'oh!
anyway speaking of who we last fucked yeah uh oh, whats with you molesting that little bambino?
is this all because you got diddled by uncle Joe? is that why you suck more cocks than the succubus Bo?
yeah thats right I rap about nerdy shit like Childish Gambino
although, I still inspire terror like Scarecrow, consider that a shoutout to my hommies on /co/
now thats whats left of your jimmies has been delivered to your mother in an urn
this rap I am about to adjourn
but my motivation still seems to be causing concern
sometimes it can be hard to discern
your loot I dont even want to earn
to ruin your fun is all I yearn
I want to make you fucking miserable at every turn
to make you so paranoid you check every fern
so every time you open a door you gurn
every corner you check makes your stomach churn
for every attempt at enjoyment to be met with spurn
for you to quit the game and never return
you dumb faggot when will you learn?
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v606/rubycalaber/Gifs/tumblr_inline_mqcm1zQTmp1r53nki_zpsxvkypsgr.gif~original
EXTRA BONUS MATERIAL
just to get all the dayz mod related material off of my harddrives so I never have to think about it ever again here is some videos timbo sent me over skype, the first one is the full version of tim's footage of the time fucking three years ago where we killed some brony faggot twice (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n55UGlxmfLk) so it's kind of like a sidequel or whatever, the top kek goes down @ 03:28 when tim starts dumping while screaming FUCK MY LITTLE PONY! at him over and over again
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxzIN3N9XZo
the second is three clips of operating that tim sent me that didn't appear in his own kill compilation he made (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kjta0q4vWGQ) for some bogan reason, the first clip is pretty operator where he takes out 4 members of a 5 man team entire through long range AKM sniping while hiding in a building iraqi insurgent style before the last man standing gets him and comes up to his knocked out body and says bet you feel pretty stupid now dont you in a bogan voice and headshots him well probably no since he killed 4 of your friends fucking aussies
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOn2AU96Wtk
welp thanks for sticking with me folks *camera pans around to reveal an entirely empty room, like that scene in Angel where throughout the episode Lorne is telling a story during a stand up routine and it turns out he was talking to no one and was on stage by himself in an empty theater*