Garfield
04-03-2014, 12:00 AM
What If Seinfeld Smoked Weed?
https://s3.amazonaws.com/vice_asset_uploader/files/1388779703Jerry_Weed.jpg
Hey whats up. Quick questien: do you ever wondre what 'Sinefeld' would be like if it still on TV today?
I mean like do you ever imagen what if NBC hadnt just "pull the plug" on the show like Elane did to Krungler in the epsoade of 'Senfeld' where krungles in a coma and Elane need to use the outlette his life suport machine is pluged into so she can plug in a VCR so she unplug Krungar life suport (if the epsode was in modarn day, she would need the oulette to plug in Playstatien 4).
K becuase straight up? Thats all i spend my waking hour's doing. Im always looking for inspiratien for what epsodes of Seinfeld would be like if the show was on Hulu today.
So,this morning i just was peruse The New York Time's web site and when i click on the Opinen sectien, I saw a halarious article by a fine & proud gentlemen named Daved Brooks about how marijauna basicaly fuck up your life. Which is wierd because David Brooks, like if you look at his NY Times writer profile pic, he basicaly fit the profile of an EXTREME marijuane smoker so thats prety LOL
In the words of Gerge "back it up,back it up, beep beep beep", let me just rewind for a minute. The reasen why "the newspepar of record" has decide to tackle this "hot buton" issue like weed is bc Colarado (its a U.S. state or whatever) has recently just made it legal to smoke marijuane. Yes it look like "Presedent" (btw hows that recount coming boys? And dont skimp on 2008 eithar, lets be thorough plese) Bary Husane Obame will have to change he's name to BARY "HUSANE KUSH" O'BONG now becase he basicaly is saying "hey, everyone in 1/50th of Amereca, go ahead and do ilegal narcotic's its cool, Im Obame, i simply do not give a shit"
Personaly I dont smoke weed becase it confict violantly with my other medicatien but i actualy dont have anything aganst people who like to do a reefer every once a while. Actualy, interesting fact, Steve Jobs smoked weed all the time. Honestly I dont know at all if thats true bc admitedly i know almost nothing about Steve jobs. But when ever i see him struting around in his black turtleneck Im just automaticaly like "yes, his clearly a full on pot head". Anyway rest in peace to Steve Jobs or whaever bc without every device Steve Jobs invented there would be way less modarn epsodes of 'Sienfeld' to imagen
http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Elaine-Benes-and-Jerry-Seinfeld-Sitting-on-Couch-Smoking-Cigars.gif
Ok ok you got me, Jery and Elane arent smoking marijuane their smoking cigar's, which had a real moment in the 1990. But imagen what if in this GIF they are smoking weed! That would be prety LMOFO
Speaking of which you know who dosent like weed? Jary Sienfeld the comedien. Its prety obvious becase 1) He never joke about marijuane in his stand up monalogs and in his TV show 'Sinefled' from the 1990's and 2) In the new epsode of Comedians Geting Cofee with Louey CK theres a part where Louey CK say he sometime's like to smoke a marijuane and go to the IMAX thetre and Jery just glaring at LOuey when he tell's this story, the expresion in his pure white drug-free-4-life eyes is full judgement, they seem to say "You fucking degenarate pot head, i dont care how many Golden Globe's you have in youre latrine, how dare you tell your dirty drug stories in my websodes"
But imagen an epsode of Sinefeld where caracter in Seinefled smoked weed? It would defeniteyl be like this~
Kranter BERST into jerys apertment.
KRANTERS: Jery you gota try this weed my frend Bob Sakamano hook me up with, its the most powerful marijuane ive ever smoked this shit will melt your face off
JERY: No thank's krame, i have a hot date tonite with Kate Upten do you know her, shes a model. She was #8 on Maxims hotest women of 2013 list so its prety modarn that Im going out w her. We met when i caresse the fabric of her sweatar inside of an elevater
KRANT: Hakune matata! Dont wory about it Jery! Its 9 am! By the time of your date youll be totaly sober BABY!
GARGE: Your stealing my "babys" now? (Garge say this while walking out of Jarys bathrom. Studio audiance aplause wildly. #garge imedately become numbre one trending topic in Amereca)
KRAME: Hey whats up garge
GARGE: Can I try some of your marijuane krame? Im impotant in my genitel region so im looking for any thing that might stimulate erectien
https://s3.amazonaws.com/vice_asset_uploader/files/1388779782Garge_erect.jpg
KRAME: For sure
(Sudenly cut to Garge, Krame and Jery are smoking a huge marijuane cigarete. Camra zoom in on Jerys apertment window and Bary Husane Obame is in the window. Camra zoom in on BAry Husane Obames face.
Bary Obame lower his solid gold opera glases that USA TAXPAYERS PAY FOR and OMG his crying becase he wasnt invited to the marijaune party!
Camra zoom in on Bary Obames teardrop and you can see H2O atoms and sodium atoms in the tear drops. Cut to outside of Jerys building and you can see that Bary Obame has scaled the wall like spidermen just so that he can stare into Jerys apertment
Cut back to Garge, hes full erect)
https://s3.amazonaws.com/vice_asset_uploader/files/1388779845Kate_Upton.jpg
Model Kate upten
Now cut to later and Jery hes on his date with Kate Upten. His eyes are FULL BLAZING RED like the eyes of the creature on Kanye wests mountaine in the Yezus tour, i duno if you saw the Yezus show but basicaly there was like a creature in it with glowing red eyes to represent all the hater's like the president of Louis Viuton
Anyway jerys acting so wierd on the date, he eat all the bread sticks and told Kate Upten her shiny yellow hair make her look like a "beutiful golden retreiver"
The epsode end with Kate upten splash a glass of San Pelagrino bubling water in Jery face
Finde Jary on Twete — @Seinfeld2000
https://s3.amazonaws.com/vice_asset_uploader/files/1388779703Jerry_Weed.jpg
Hey whats up. Quick questien: do you ever wondre what 'Sinefeld' would be like if it still on TV today?
I mean like do you ever imagen what if NBC hadnt just "pull the plug" on the show like Elane did to Krungler in the epsoade of 'Senfeld' where krungles in a coma and Elane need to use the outlette his life suport machine is pluged into so she can plug in a VCR so she unplug Krungar life suport (if the epsode was in modarn day, she would need the oulette to plug in Playstatien 4).
K becuase straight up? Thats all i spend my waking hour's doing. Im always looking for inspiratien for what epsodes of Seinfeld would be like if the show was on Hulu today.
So,this morning i just was peruse The New York Time's web site and when i click on the Opinen sectien, I saw a halarious article by a fine & proud gentlemen named Daved Brooks about how marijauna basicaly fuck up your life. Which is wierd because David Brooks, like if you look at his NY Times writer profile pic, he basicaly fit the profile of an EXTREME marijuane smoker so thats prety LOL
In the words of Gerge "back it up,back it up, beep beep beep", let me just rewind for a minute. The reasen why "the newspepar of record" has decide to tackle this "hot buton" issue like weed is bc Colarado (its a U.S. state or whatever) has recently just made it legal to smoke marijuane. Yes it look like "Presedent" (btw hows that recount coming boys? And dont skimp on 2008 eithar, lets be thorough plese) Bary Husane Obame will have to change he's name to BARY "HUSANE KUSH" O'BONG now becase he basicaly is saying "hey, everyone in 1/50th of Amereca, go ahead and do ilegal narcotic's its cool, Im Obame, i simply do not give a shit"
Personaly I dont smoke weed becase it confict violantly with my other medicatien but i actualy dont have anything aganst people who like to do a reefer every once a while. Actualy, interesting fact, Steve Jobs smoked weed all the time. Honestly I dont know at all if thats true bc admitedly i know almost nothing about Steve jobs. But when ever i see him struting around in his black turtleneck Im just automaticaly like "yes, his clearly a full on pot head". Anyway rest in peace to Steve Jobs or whaever bc without every device Steve Jobs invented there would be way less modarn epsodes of 'Sienfeld' to imagen
http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Elaine-Benes-and-Jerry-Seinfeld-Sitting-on-Couch-Smoking-Cigars.gif
Ok ok you got me, Jery and Elane arent smoking marijuane their smoking cigar's, which had a real moment in the 1990. But imagen what if in this GIF they are smoking weed! That would be prety LMOFO
Speaking of which you know who dosent like weed? Jary Sienfeld the comedien. Its prety obvious becase 1) He never joke about marijuane in his stand up monalogs and in his TV show 'Sinefled' from the 1990's and 2) In the new epsode of Comedians Geting Cofee with Louey CK theres a part where Louey CK say he sometime's like to smoke a marijuane and go to the IMAX thetre and Jery just glaring at LOuey when he tell's this story, the expresion in his pure white drug-free-4-life eyes is full judgement, they seem to say "You fucking degenarate pot head, i dont care how many Golden Globe's you have in youre latrine, how dare you tell your dirty drug stories in my websodes"
But imagen an epsode of Sinefeld where caracter in Seinefled smoked weed? It would defeniteyl be like this~
Kranter BERST into jerys apertment.
KRANTERS: Jery you gota try this weed my frend Bob Sakamano hook me up with, its the most powerful marijuane ive ever smoked this shit will melt your face off
JERY: No thank's krame, i have a hot date tonite with Kate Upten do you know her, shes a model. She was #8 on Maxims hotest women of 2013 list so its prety modarn that Im going out w her. We met when i caresse the fabric of her sweatar inside of an elevater
KRANT: Hakune matata! Dont wory about it Jery! Its 9 am! By the time of your date youll be totaly sober BABY!
GARGE: Your stealing my "babys" now? (Garge say this while walking out of Jarys bathrom. Studio audiance aplause wildly. #garge imedately become numbre one trending topic in Amereca)
KRAME: Hey whats up garge
GARGE: Can I try some of your marijuane krame? Im impotant in my genitel region so im looking for any thing that might stimulate erectien
https://s3.amazonaws.com/vice_asset_uploader/files/1388779782Garge_erect.jpg
KRAME: For sure
(Sudenly cut to Garge, Krame and Jery are smoking a huge marijuane cigarete. Camra zoom in on Jerys apertment window and Bary Husane Obame is in the window. Camra zoom in on BAry Husane Obames face.
Bary Obame lower his solid gold opera glases that USA TAXPAYERS PAY FOR and OMG his crying becase he wasnt invited to the marijaune party!
Camra zoom in on Bary Obames teardrop and you can see H2O atoms and sodium atoms in the tear drops. Cut to outside of Jerys building and you can see that Bary Obame has scaled the wall like spidermen just so that he can stare into Jerys apertment
Cut back to Garge, hes full erect)
https://s3.amazonaws.com/vice_asset_uploader/files/1388779845Kate_Upton.jpg
Model Kate upten
Now cut to later and Jery hes on his date with Kate Upten. His eyes are FULL BLAZING RED like the eyes of the creature on Kanye wests mountaine in the Yezus tour, i duno if you saw the Yezus show but basicaly there was like a creature in it with glowing red eyes to represent all the hater's like the president of Louis Viuton
Anyway jerys acting so wierd on the date, he eat all the bread sticks and told Kate Upten her shiny yellow hair make her look like a "beutiful golden retreiver"
The epsode end with Kate upten splash a glass of San Pelagrino bubling water in Jery face
Finde Jary on Twete — @Seinfeld2000