FJT (Funny Jokes Thread)

[Camoron]

post your funny jokes.


Two antennas got married


the wedding was okay but the reception was awesome

[steveyos]

wrong forum

[Camoron]

please post some jokes

[Camoron]

never trust atoms. they make up everything

[steveyos]

I would if this were a comedy forum

[Autistic Spectrum]

a cag and a lisa walk into a bar, they say to the bartender we will have 2 shots of codey, the bartender turns around, and it's HILTER , he then kills cag and lisa, cause they are jews

[Autistic Spectrum]

why did the lisa cross the road?

to get to the other side where her best friend cag and codey where,

[Autistic Spectrum]

cag, codey and lisa all just died after someone brutally murdered them(it was me btw) they are standing at the peraly gates and st peter says to them , Tell me why i should let the 3 of you into hevan tell me what good things u have done with your life,

cag says well i made alot of middle aged bussiness man very happy by giving them half off lap dances,

codey says i brought great joy to people by painting there houses, and left the world a better place then when i entered it,

lisa says LISTEN ST PETER YOU ARE AN OBESSED BUSH PIG MY LIFE WAS GREAT OK MAYBE U SHOULD JUST FUK OFFF,,,,, show me your dick st peter,,,,

[Autistic Spectrum]

what's the difference between my and cag's car,,,,?


cag's car does not have a dead australian woman in the trunk

[Autistic Spectrum]

oh wait i jsut thought of a classic joke,,



why did lisa kill her unborn child?

because she's a murderous baby killing whore :rofl:

[Camoron]

:goodone:

[Camoron]

m0nde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to India on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so m0nde hands over the keys and documents of new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank.

He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh m0nde for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, m0nde repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, “Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow “$5,000″ ?

m0nde replies:
“Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?’”

Ha ha. The joke is that m0nde is a millionaire

[Autistic Spectrum]

monde actually drives a yellow school bus

[Camoron]

m0nde drives an ice cream truck that runs on the sorrow and tears of little children

[jon]

women's rights

[juji]

women's rights

HAHAHAHA WHAT A FUNNY JOKE heh

[Camoron]

HAHAHAHAHA

[jon]

if you say it in a scottish accent it's funnier

[Dirty Harry]

This not a joke but a funny story hope that's o.k. ?

2 nuns were walking in Central Park in New York late at night
and 2 men came out of the bushes, and started to force them
into having sex.

The first nun prayed saying. "Forgive him Lord for he does not
know what he is doing."

While the other nun screams, "Mine does !"

[Cody]

lisas life is the best joke on this forum

[juji]

lisas life is the best joke on this forum

Not really, Lisa is the saddest joke on this forum, however Cody's life is the best joke.

[Cody]

http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/axNgRwn_460sa.gif

[Cody]

Not really, Lisa is the saddest joke on this forum, however Cody's life is the best joke.

elz and lisa's first welfare babby
http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/aM1w44V_460sa.gif

[Camoron]

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ZZ-CqtHjAnk/S8s3kessEhI/AAAAAAABzjw/9GfkENovY6Q/s400/Jimmie+Walker.jpg

need ot make this a smiley :camnf: or something

[Camoron]

make it flip horizontally abck and forth

[steveyos]

gotta have a lizard mention it if you want ruby to do it

[Camoron]

ruby doesnt even responbd on skype anymore, i odnt even see him online anymore, where is he

[steveyos]

he replies to me on steam all the time we play dayz, because ruby rolls with fjs

[Camoron]

lizard crew

[always stevey]

Well, do I get into the pearly gate?

[always stevey]

I slept wrong. My back oh my god.

[always stevey]

What a lovely day. think im going to have an abortion

[rootbeer]

uh sorry im actually a prop comedian, so i cant just type my jokes out.

[rootbeer]

awk

[Autistic Spectrum]

stevey and plug drugs both show up for lisa's hotel gang bang ruby net edition at the same time,

they both try to get into the door way to the motel room at the exact same second, but guss what they are both very fat, so they get stuck in the door frame,

it's fine lisa had to bring 5 pounds of crisco for her dired up pussy and she greases up there blubber and they pop though the door, to gang bang lisa

[Autistic Spectrum]

stevey and plug drugs both show up for lisa's hotel gang bang ruby net edition at the same time,

they both try to get into the door way to the motel room at the exact same second, but guss what they are both very fat, so they get stuck in the door frame,

it's fine lisa had to bring 5 pounds of crisco for her dired up pussy and she greases up there blubber and they pop though the door, to gang bang lisa

this is a joke btw lisa would have a 10 pound vat of crisco, for her dried up crusty, vagaina hole,

[steveyos]

very nice dp, you get a gold star sticker *puts gold star sticker on your t-shirt*

[Dirty Harry]

Another funny story !

A trucker was driving his fully loaded rig to the top of a
steep hill. Just as he was starting down the equally steep
other side, he noticed a man and a woman lying in the center
of the road, making wild and passionate love.

In total disbelief, he blew his air horn several times as he
was bearing down on them. He realised that they were not going
to stop or get out of his way, so he slammed on his brakes and

Furious, he got out of the cab and walked to the front of the
truck. He looked down at the two, still in the road, and
yelled, "What the hell's the matter with you two? Didn't you
hear me blowing the horn? You could have been killed!"

Eventually, the man looked up at the truck driver, obviously
satisfied and not too concerned and said, "Look, I was coming,
she was coming and you were coming. You were the only one with
brakes."

[Autistic Spectrum]

lisa and cag walk into mondes house, his landlordless says shhhhhh

[Camoron]

:)