I have nowhere to go.
My family abused me.
The only person in my life was someone who picked me up off the street battered and bruised and in shock and they turned out to be a ice junky who was using me for what he could. These are not things I want in my life.
I tried really hard to do something worthwhile. In spite of all the shit, not even having a home through highschool and never finishing I went and got myself two degrees when I was 21 and sat an entry exam and was lucky enough to be smart enough yto blitz it in, and that's about the only time in my life where having brain gave me a lift up, I wanted to teach and help children get through school because I never did and spent years before university living in what was hell, a violent man putting me in hospital because frankly I didn't know any better... and I did teach for a couple of years but I've seen too much shit there that I can't deal with and it only took a couple of kicks of the stool out from under me and I just can't... I just can't, I am not emotionally equipped to do that anymore. I got other jobs that wouldn't be as stressfull but when I lost those things just got worse and worse. Now I'm in a situation where junkies pick me up off the street when I'm bashed on xmas day because I'm even more pathetic than them. I've got nothing, nothing anymore and all I can worry about is what will happen to my cat. I'm not on a pension and I am struggling a lot, there is no safety net for me anymore, no family, no-one who cares... just mounting debts of bills that I can barely even pay anymore. I can't understand people at all... I can't understand why they do these horrible things to each other.... an ice junky actually looked good to me because he was the kindest person I had actually met in a really long time.
I don't spend my money on pot... I wish I could like I used to when I had money... it made things seem better. I wish there was somewhere I could take my cat so I knew she would be spoilt and looked after and I could just go quitely die. I had stopped breathing after my brother bashed me and I wish I had just been left to die.... it was easy to die at that point but people had to bring me back just so I could suffer more shit.. why? Why is everything like this? What the fuck kind of place is this and what the fuck kind of people are some of you. Some of you here aren't bad people at all but I just can't stand these pieces of shit, Ic an't stand them here and I can't stand them in the world anymore and I don't think I can fight any of them anymore. There is no help for what I'm going through but I honestly just don't think I lay here and take it anymore.... I just want to die but what will happen to my cat? My cat is the only good and pure thing in my life.
It's obviously true, I have obviously lost my mind but I don't even want my mind back in a world like this, if sane and doing well is doing to people what has been done to me and what I've seen others do even to children then I don't want to be sane, I don't even want to exist in way where I am aware of anything anymore.
What the fuck is this place and what the fuck kind of people are SOME of you? Am I supossed to abuse people, lie, use people to have a good life? Because I don't even want a life anymore. There is literally nothing more I have to offer or give and I can't live in a world like this anymore, I want out. Something bad is going to happen again... I know this feeling... something bad is going to happen... I hope I get to die this time and to the shit people I hope you burn on earth and to the good people, I wish you could be spared the abhorrent things that go on in this world but I at least hope you have comfort and some measure of happiness and I hope you are surrounded by other good people.
Results 1 to 30 of 30
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11-20-2013I am the owner of http://www.ezmangaforum.com
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I am the owner of http://www.ezmangaforum.com
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www.whatthefuck.comking steveyos
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- Join Date
- Jul 2013
- Posts
- 13,345
11-20-2013I don't understand, did cat avatar really post that trying to help lisa?
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www.whatthefuck.comking steveyos11-20-2013
cag hadnt fallen for camoron yet, pluggy and lisa were hot and heavy behind the scenes (lol) I was the most hated poster, :,( god damned it was good *sniff*
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- Join Date
- Jul 2013
- Posts
- 13,345
11-20-2013Gonna make myself the most hated poster if I'm not already
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www.whatthefuck.comking steveyos
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www.whatthefuck.comking steveyos
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always steveyking steveyos11-20-2013
I CAN RELATE. you have been traumatized, and are damaged by it, and with no support system to heal you heal, you did your best, and you did really good. You are impressive. Many people would never have been able to do what you did. So please, do not give up. Your cat needs you, first of all. And the WORLD needs people like you. IF you kill yourself, you are leaving behind all the people who need your help. I know it hurts, and it hurts a lot, to stay alive. But trust me, there are s many people and animals who are hurting worse. How to get better? 1) Find your people. Go to narcanon meetings, talk, because talking is very therapeutic. 2) Get disability, perhaps? because you seem like you have PTSD, and you need some time to heal. It's never been addressed. You need some time to just relax, heal, and try to retrain your brain. Your brain was wired wrong by the abuse you took when you were growing up. It's no wonder you are having trouble now. 3) Focus on YOU - heal yourself. you can't begin to help anyone else through this nightmare until you are somewhat healed. refer back to # 2.
Take-away message: you are incredible. You have done so much, when given such a shitty start. you know how many douchebags have been given total privelege and they just waste it? lots. you are one of the good ones. i just want to hug you.
----I DID NOT WRITE THIS I AM NOT REALLY LISAS FRIEND I'M BEING FRAMED by AUTISTIC FAGGOT-
he is the one who wrote that and sent it to lisa months and months ago, worried sick that she was going to kill hersef
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www.whatthefuck.comking steveyos
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always steveyking steveyos11-20-2013
"back then" Cody your dreams of fitting in are finally coming true.
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always steveyking steveyos11-20-2013
oh look, Cody took down his Kiss avatar and put up a lipstick tube instead.
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steveyosking steveyos
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11-20-2013
you can cum in me as much as you'd like =3
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